Can You Help Me By Checking My CAE Essay?

Hi everyone, I really would like to know if my essay is fully understandable for contents and intentions and if my vocabulary and syntax should stand for the C1 level. Please notify me any grammar error and suggestions.

Thank you in advance to everyone would reply.

TASK: You have listened to a radio discussion programme about how to motivate children to regular exercise. You have made this notes below:

WAYS OF MOTIVATING CHILDREN TO DO REGULAR EXERCISE: parental example, government funding, school.

Write an essay for your tutor discussing two of the ways in your notes. You should explain which way is more effective in motivating children to do regular exercise and provide reasons to support your opinion.

Many people agree that schools have to provide a wide range of sports and exercise activities to improve children quality of life. Others believe that parental example could better inspire children in taking regular exercise. What is pretty clear is that regular exercise is fundamental to promote a healthy lifestyle, to fight anxiety and depression diseases, to face stressful situations and to prevent cardiovascular diseases.

I hold the view that parents play a significant role in motivating children to do sport or other physical activities. Indeed, it is likely that children tend to follow parental attitudes and behaviours. It could be fruitful to create a family activities routine, like go out for a walk or a bike ride, so that children should be more involved and encouraged in doing physical exercises.

Even school activities could boost children’s interest in taking sports. Generally, school programmes have to provide an intriguing range of physical activities, such as football, volleyball or basketball, but despite they represent a good way to socialize and establish new friendships, these kinds of sports undermine the real value of physical activities. Thus, children are convinced that doing regular exercise should just be aimed to win a match or to compete with their friends, and so they are not able to fully understand the real purpose of having a regular exercise routine, which is taking care of their health and mind.

In conclusion, motivating children to do sport or any kinds of physical activities should be a social priority to instil in their mind a healthy addiction, giving that nowadays children are not completely aware of the beneficial effects that sport can produce. Both of the factors listed above are useful ways to stimulate children, but I believe the most effective way is represented by parental example, which could stand for an important reference for their kids, helping them with advice and educating them to pursue the philosophy of a healthy way of living.

(Maybe it's too long, I only have 220-260 words!)