Can you help me, by check my essay and correct me please

Question

Hi volunteers this is my formal essay I will write about “Advantages and disadvantages of space explorative”

…..Can you give my score from 10.

The space is strange thing, it is outside earth, it is include solar system and huge numbers of planet.

Scientist thought if they can use this strange thing as a harmless thing, they make studies about it.

But there a question they but it first, how we can reach to space to use it as a harmless thing?

For sure they made a station in the earth to prepared him to reach to space, the first station was built in Russia then a station was built in America. Arm Strong is the first astronaut who reach to the moon whatever, that gave scientist some ideas to make them very prepared to make inventions that can work outside the earth “in the space” and make these inventions adapt with space environment.

Now we will talk about disadvantages of the space first. We know that the rocket which the station use it to reach to space is work by Petrol for sure, but do think what is the huge amount of the Patrol that rockets need it to reach to the outer space? Now we can called this waste of Patrol. If we talk about the dangerous which you will suffer from it, you know in space there no safe maybe you will died in any moment for many resound the first effective resound is there are no oxygen in space and no gravity too.

But what about advantages of space explorative, communication between people are made by phones but what is cooperation or the relation between phones and space explorative? Phones are work by receiving singling from satellite which it is located in the outer space here is the advantage of space explorative which present in putting satellite in space to send and receive singling to and from earth, the internet, televising and a lot of other invention are working by this method.

But do you think that the disadvantages are deserved to waste for the advantages? In my opinion I say yes, because in this developed age we cannot live without the advantages of space explorative I means internet, television, phones and many other inventions.

I have an advice that would to say it for all people, that we have not to believe science fiction which we watched it in movies or cinema or any place about space because if we believe it and if we try to do it we maybe try to suicide and our end will be the died

A Dollar · Accepted Answer

I want to improve my writing....can you put the mistakes in a replay...

I know there are many mistakes, but i do not know it...

Thank you

Kane159 · Answer

Hi Dollar,

I've read your essay briefly and have to admit that it contains an awful lot of mistakes. However, I'm not a native speaker, so I don't have the guts to correct it by myself, sorry.

A Dollar · Answer

I know that, but why do you think that i post it here, for sure to learn from my mistake and improve.

And i hope if you give me some of my mistake please.

Anonymous · Answer

Hi volunteers this is my formal essay I will write about "Advantages and disadvantages of space Exploration"
.....Can you give me my score from 10.
Space is a strange thing. It surrounds Earth and includes many solar systems.
(This line should probably be entirely redone, as it does not fit a formal paper, particularly the first sentence.)
Scientist thought if they can use this strange thing as a harmless thing, they make studies about it.
(I don't quite understand what you're trying to say here, also avoid repetition of the word "thing")
But there a question they but it first, how we can reach to space to use it as a harmless thing?
Facilities dedicated to space exploration were constructed first in Russia, then in the United States. Lance Armstrong (It's Lance Armstrong, not Arm Strong) was the first astronaut to reach to the moon. His experiments in space allowed scientists back on earth to think of new ideas for inventions adaptable to use in space.

Now we will talk about disadvantages of space exploration first.
(This line should be removed, while it is technically correct it does not lend itself to a formal paper.)
Space shuttles utilize vast amounts of petrol in order to generate the thrust neccessary to achieve orbit. This is a major waste of petrol. Space is a very dangerous place. One cannot breathe because there is no air.
Space exploration also has its' advantages however. There is a major link between space and telecommunications technology. Satellite phones and tv both work because of the presence of dedicated satellites in space broadcasting a signal to a reciever back on earth. Without space exploration telecommunications technology would still be limited to landlines.
The disadvantages of space exploration are trivial compared to the benefits humanitiy has reaped as a result of these activities. (Do not start a conclusion paragraph with a question where it is easier to simply use a statement. Using a question to open a paragraph means that any mistakes you make can make your paper sound divided when it must sound consistent.)
In my opinion I say yes, because in this developed age we cannot live without the advantages of space explorative I means internet, television, phones and many other inventions.
As a result of space exploration we now have the internet, satellite television and phones as well as other inventions, without which modern civilization could not exist.
(Never use I, my opinion, in my opinion, I think, I believe, or I mean in a formal paper and try to avoid it in most other forms of writing as well. There is no need to state that something is your opinion, the entire paper is your opinion as you're the author.)
(Also add a conclusion sentence for this paragraph)

I have an advice that would to say it for all people, that we have not to believe science fiction which we watched it in movies or cinema or any place about space because if we believe it and if we try to do it we maybe try to suicide and our end will be the died
(Remove this entire segment, it has no place in a formal paper)

Kane159 · Answer

Some sentences you've written don't simply make sense. For instance, what do you mean by saying that space is a "harmless thing"? This is the reason why I don't want to ( strictly speaking - can't ) correct your essay. Besides, I'm not a native speaker (as I've already mentioned before), therefore I don't want to cause any more trouble by replacing incorrect words with other incorrect words ( although I can't say I'm a beginner). Moreover, you obviously ignored all our advice we gave you in the previous thread you'd created.

Anonymous · Answer

Hi this website may provide much more support www.grammarholic.com they specialise in proofreading and editing essays especially when English is not your first language.

A Dollar · Answer

Anonymous...Thank very much, you are really help me and you learned some new ideas about writing.

This what i want to explore it, this what i need it.

I will tell what i had learned from your post..!

- Do not begin the canclusion.

- Do not write any thing about me "my opinion, i think...ect"

- use the correct and specific wrods in its correct play

Thank you...

Anonymous · Answer

can you help me correct my essay?
In the documents, it talks about how Indentured Servants and Negroes which I think it becomes in slavery.
In the Documents A B and C, it talks about the indentured servants and how the slavery increased and decreased during the 1790 and 1830 and how in 1775 some people free are able and willing to bear Arms and are joining His MAJESTY'S Troops.
In documents A B and C talks about how people enjoy and they can have freedom or not "enjoying the profits of our labor or the advantage of inheriting estates from our parents as our neighbors the white people do... and yet ... We are not allowed the privilege of freedom of the State having no vote or influence in the election of those that tax us". Which I think it means who is a slave can vote even though you are the force to be a slave.
Even though you don't want to be a slave you are actually forced to. And I guess even if you were a force to and I guess it wouldn't like to be one you would be killed. Some slaves are lucky because in document C. it talks about how it increased over the years. 50 percent and over slaves were there, it increased during the 1830 and back then in 1790 there weren't much of slaves. but I guess throughout the time more slaves came in and the old slaves get to escape. And the people didn't even know how many slaves they had. And I think if the slaves escape and went to the South people from there will say "hey are you new here?" and then you'll think "oh that person might give me a place to sleep" but then you say "Yes" then that person will tell "okay you'll be my slave" even tough you didn't want to. And I guess even though you didn't want to escape they will still notice you notice because the people alway been knowing you're their slave.

In the documents, it talks about how Indentured Servants and Negroes which I think it becomes in slavery.
In the Documents A B and C, it talks about the indentured servants and how the slavery increased and decreased during the 1790 and 1830 and how in 1775 some people free are able and willing to bear Arms and are joining His MAJESTY'S Troops.
In documents A B and C talks about how people enjoy and they can have freedom or not "enjoying the profits of our labor or the advantage of inheriting estates from our parents as our neighbors the white people do... and yet ... We are not allowed the privilege of freedom of the State having no vote or influence in the election of those that tax us". Which I think it means who is a slave can vote even though you are the force to be a slave.
Even though you don't want to be a slave you are actually forced to. And I guess even if you were a force to and I guess it wouldn't like to be one you would be killed. Some slaves are lucky because in document C. it talks about how it increased over the years. 50 percent and over slaves were there, it increased during the 1830 and back then in 1790 there weren't much of slaves. but I guess throughout the time more slaves came in and the old slaves get to escape. And the people didn't even know how many slaves they had. And I think if the slaves escape and went to the South people from there will say "hey are you new here?" and then you'll think "oh that person might give me a place to sleep" but then you say "Yes" then that person will tell "okay you'll be my slave" even tough you didn't want to. And I guess even though you didn't want to escape they will still notice you notice because the people alway been knowing you're their slave.

Can you help me, by check my essay and correct me please

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