Can you guys help me review and rate my Task 2 essay? My target is 7 in writing. Thank you in advance for your help.

Task 2

Some people think that young people should follow older people's examples. Others believe it is quite natural for teenagers to challenge what old people say. Describe both point of views. Give your opinion with reasons and relevant examples.

It has been a controversial topic for recent years whether children must obey adult’s advice. When some people might think it brings nothing but positive outcomes for those adolescents who are willing to listen, others might think being a little rebellious may benefit the youngsters.

This essay will discuss both sides of the opinions.

On the one hand, young generation should be encouraged to challenging the current system in order to make our society moving forward. In fact, the majority of modern inventions are the result of breaking the existing barrier. That is why in Finland, government holds an annual award for young scientist who can disprove the old theory and introduce new paradigm.

On the other hand, following the elderly’s instructions seems to be a reasonable and obvious act of children since those guidelines are the results after years of experience. In other words, it can be a time-saving method to be successful without making the same mistakes that other people did. For example, nowadays, parents are more focus on educating their kids to develop their kid’s presentation and team-working due to the fact they have been struggling in their career path because of lacking those necessary soft skills. Another argument in favor of this idea is it is highly important for the offspring to have a good life example in order to enable them to stay on the right track. To be more specific, according to UNICEF annual statistic, more than thirty percent of immature criminals either are orphan or come from an unhappy family. They have to be involved in illegal activities and live their life without any guidance and advise from parents or even close relatives.

In my point of view, it is justifiable to be questioning advice of previous generations since it can become a foundation of something new. However, I believe that it is a better practice for teenagers to follow their parent’s footstep as it is proven to be a much safer and faster way climb higher in a ladder of success.

In conclusion, while one school of thought may argue that it may benefit the world to challenge the old opinion, others including myself hold a belief that it will provide better outcomes to young generation who can listen and withdraw experience from older generations.