Can you give me some feedbacks on my Ielts essay? many thanks

Question

Topic: Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what

extent do you agree or disagree?

Each individual is interested in different hobbies. While some people are likely to be satisfied by easy leisure pursuits, some find it more relaxing to have challenging hobbies. In my view, I completely disagree with the idea that it is much more exciting to focus on recreational activities requiring difficulties because both kinds of hobbies are enjoyable to some extent.

On the one hand, it is undoubted that many people are into easy hobbies. This may result from personal satisfaction and comfort when individuals enjoy doing what they indeed love. For example, without any top-notch facilities or equipment as well as difficulties, swimming can still be fascinating to many people because it is not complicated to learn from the basics and the feelings of immersing themselves into freshwater unquestionably please them. In addition, for some people, having unchallenging hobbies also means that they do not need to challenge themselves a lot to get a sense of enjoyment, and thus, hobbies with ease can definitely relax them. Therefore, easy hobbies can be a good option for individuals.

On the other hand, difficult hobbies can be sometimes interesting to sorts of people. Obviously, individuals being keen on these hobbies may have a great demand for defeating challenges and overcoming adversity. This means that achieving their objects in hobbies after significant efforts can bring them a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. For example, extreme sports players always have a tendency to push themselves out of their comfort zones and risk their lives to get some thrilling experience and exhilarating feelings. As a result, I believe that many demanding hobbies give us more pleasure when we reach a higher level of performance because the results are better and the feeling of achievement is greater.

In conclusion, simple hobbies can be fun and relaxing, but difficult hobbies can be

equally pleasurable for different reasons and for different types of people.

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238erica · Answer

Topic ome people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what

extent do you agree or disagree?

Each individual is interested in different hobbies. While some people are likely to be satisfied by easy leisure pursuits, some find it more relaxing to have challenging hobbies. In my view, I completely disagree with the idea that it is much more exciting to focus on recreational activities requiring difficulties because both kinds of hobbies are enjoyable to some extent.

On the one hand, it is undoubted that many people are into easy hobbies. This may result from personal satisfaction and comfort when individuals enjoy doing what they indeed love. For example, without any top-notch facilities or equipment as well as difficulties, swimming can still be fascinating to many people because it is not complicated to learn from the basics and the feelings of immersing themselves into freshwater unquestionably please them. In addition, for some people, having unchallenging hobbies also means that they do not need to challenge themselves a lot to get a sense of enjoyment, and thus, hobbies with ease can definitely relax them. Therefore, easy hobbies can be a good option for individuals.

On the other hand, difficult hobbies can be sometimes interesting to sorts of people. Obviously, individuals being keen on these hobbies may have a great demand for defeating challenges and overcoming adversity. This means that achieving their objects in hobbies after significant efforts can bring them a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. For example, extreme sports players always have a tendency to push themselves out of their comfort zones and risk their lives to get some thrilling experience and exhilarating feelings. As a result, I believe that many demanding hobbies give us more pleasure when we reach a higher level of performance because the results are better and the feeling of achievement is greater.

In conclusion, simple hobbies can be fun and relaxing, but difficult hobbies can be

equally pleasurable for different reasons and for different types of people.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Each individual is interested in different hobbies. While some people are likely to be satisfied by easy leisure pursuits, some find it more relaxing to have challenging hobbies. In my view, I completely disagree with the idea that it is much more exciting to focus on recreational activities requiring a lot of effort ~~difficulties~~ (not the right word) because both kinds of hobbies are enjoyable to some extent.

(This is not a "discuss both views and give your opinion" essay. In particular the second paragraph is not appropriate for your "totally disagree" argument. You need to write two body paragraphs that support your thesis statement, that is: Hobbies that do not require a lot of effort can fill one's leisure time with pleasure and enjoyment. Find two reasons that support this argument, and provide examples. )

On the one hand, it is undoubted that many people are into easy hobbies. This may result from personal satisfaction and comfort when individuals enjoy doing what they indeed love. For example, without any top-notch facilities or equipment as well as difficulties, swimming can still be fascinating to many people because it is not complicated to learn from the basics and the feelings of immersing themselves into freshwater unquestionably please them. In addition, for some people, having unchallenging hobbies also means that they do not need to challenge themselves a lot to get a sense of enjoyment, and thus, hobbies with ease can definitely relax them. Therefore, easy hobbies can be a good option for individuals.

On the other hand, difficult hobbies can be sometimes interesting to sorts of people. Obviously, individuals being keen on these hobbies may have a great demand for defeating challenges and overcoming adversity. This means that achieving their objects in hobbies after significant efforts can bring them a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. For example, extreme sports players always have a tendency to push themselves out of their comfort zones and risk their lives to get some thrilling experience and exhilarating feelings. As a result, I believe that many demanding hobbies give us more pleasure when we reach a higher level of performance because the results are better and the feeling of achievement is greater.

In conclusion, simple hobbies can be fun and relaxing, but difficult hobbies can be

equally pleasurable for different reasons and for different types of people.

Can you give me some feedbacks on my Ielts essay? many thanks

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