Can you give me some comments on my Writing Task 1.

Question

TOPIC: The first graph shows the number of train passengers from 2000 to 2009; the second compares the percentage of trains running on time and target in the period.The first bar graph provides information about the number of people commuting by trains, while the second compares the proportion of on-time arrivals of trains with the goal over a decade starting in 2000.Overall, both the quantity of rail travelers and the percentage of trains running on schedule showed considerable variations with an upward trajectory during the given time frame.Standing at about 36,000 at the beginning of the period, the number of train passengers rose steadily by approximately 6,000 within 2 years, before falling progressively to the same level as that in 2000. This figure went up again during the next 3 years, but more sharply, to a peak of roughly 47,000 citizens in 2005, after which it declined moderately and ended the decade at nearly 42,000 in 2009.With respect to the percentage trains arriving without delays, there was a substantial increase in the first half of the course, from exactly 92% to 96% in 2004, surpassing the standard line by 1%. This figure, which slumped markedly to 3% lower than the target of 95% on-time trains three years later, reached a high of 97% in 2008 and then leveled off in the final year.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

mytraaThe first bar graph

Here are some bar charts, sometimes called bar graphs. There are simple bar charts, stacked bar charts, grouped bar charts and time series bar charts.

You did not upload any bar charts.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

mytraaprovides information about

That does not say very much. Information can be almost anything. It is not a good way to start.

What values, measures or numbers are on this plot?

mytraa showed considerable variations

Every interesting plot in the entire world will show changes. That is not a "main feature". You are asked to point our the most interesting observations, not something that is very very commonplace.

Study the figure carefully. What stands out? What is peculiar or uncommon?

mytraawith an upward trajectory during the given time frame.

That is not true. It is more staying within a narrow range of about 10% above or below the overall average.

Standing (unnatural word) at about 36,000 (wrong number; in fact all your numbers are wrong. ) at the beginning of the period, the number of train passengers rose steadily by approximately 6,000 ~~within 2~~ over the next two years, before falling ~~progressively~~ to the same level as that in 2000. ~~This figure~~ (Figure is not a good word here.) It went up again during the next 3 years, but more sharply, to a peak of roughly 47,000 citizens (Wrong word. There may have been some tourists and foreigners riding the trains) in 2005, after which it declined moderately and ended the decade at nearly 42,000 in 2009.

With respect to the percentage trains arriving without delays, there was a substantial increase in the first half of the course, from exactly 92% to 96% in 2004, surpassing the standard line (wrong expression) by 1%. ~~This figure~~, ~~which~~ Then it slumped ~~markedly~~ to 3% lower than the target of 95% on-time trains (The reader is confused. You never told the reader that the target remained unchanged at 95% for the entire period.) three years later, reached a high of 97% in 2008 and then leveled off in the final year.

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Can you give me some comments on my Writing Task 1.

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