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Wreckday Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Can you give me some advices about this essay

Do you agree with the following statement? It was easier to achieve success in the past than it is today



Given the choice between agreeing or disagreeing with the statement that it was easier to achieve success in the past than it is today, which one do I choose? It is believed that the answer is positive. However, I totally disagree with it was easier to achieve success in the past than it is today. There are three reasons stated below:



First of all, it is in terms of the new technology’ era coming that we can achieve success more efficient than before. For example, there are no smart phone in the past, so it is very difficult to get information right away. Today, not only can we use the webcam to see the fictional person’s face on the cell phone's screen, but also we can pay the bill to buy what we want by the smart phone.



What's more, it is in terms of teamwork’s strategy that we can save time and money to achieve success than before. Take my personal experience as an example, I planned to open the restaurant, but I was not familiar with the financial management. Due to having the accouter in the teamwork, I could easily hire the person I trusted. Teamwork strategy saved me haunting time, so I can concentrate on the restaurant’s interior design.





Most important, it is in terms of individual's value changing that we can achieve success easily than before. For instance, in the past, because most people grow crops, vegetables to make a living by themselves, there are no obvious different between the rich men and the poor in the agricultural stage. With the economic development, more and more “heroes” make a big money by their intelligence. As a result, people believed that “They can be the somebody, why can’t I”. Owing to this thought, people run their own imagination wild to invent some useful devices, or come up with more good ideas to achieve success.





To sum up, I totally disagree that it was easier to achieve success in the past than it is today, among the reasons new technology’ era coming, team work’s strategy, and individual's value changing.













  

Top answer

Hi, I can see you are really trying to get a good structure and organization. It would help me to comment appropriately if I knew what level you are studying at, and how long you have been studying English. Clive

  • Hi, I can see you are really trying to get a good structure and organization.
  • It would help me to comment appropriately if I knew what level you are studying at, and how long you have been studying English.
  • Clive
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3 Answers
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Hi,

I can see you are really trying to get a good structure and organization.
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Hi,
Do you agree with the following statement? It was easier to achieve success in the past than it is today

As your test is very soon, I'll try to offer a few very practical suggestions.



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Mr. Clive,

You are so nice, I will read more to improve my writing ability.

So, I believe that my english will be better.

I just post another essay I wrote.

If you have time to correct my essay, you can see my profile.

Thank you a lot.

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