Can you evaluate this essay, please?

Thank you for spending time looking at my writing. ^^

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Topic:

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.

In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?

Has this become a positive or negative development?

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My essay:

In the age of technology, most people prefer to socialize with others via the virtual world. However, it has become an increasing concern since smartphones and mobile devices became ubiquitous. It is to say that people begin renouncing real-life interactions in favour of communicating virtually. In this essay, I will discuss the consequences of the relationships with deprivation of offline conversations and from which declare my view about the contribution of technology on affecting the nature of interacting between humans adversely.

Firstly, people are trying to build social relationships which will end up being perfunctory, due to the fact that it is impossible to detect authentic emotions of others who sit behind the screen to interact with them. Secondly, friendships built from social networks may not last long, because it takes seconds for a person to disappear and never be seen online again. Thirdly, people who want to find their other halves via the virtual world can easily fall prey to frauds pretending to be husband or wife materials by using fake profiles and pictures. This elucidates the contradictory reality when they decide to take a further step in their romantic online relationships. Finally, the advent of technology, especially the virtual world, has rendered connections between people fragile and full of uncertainties.

Therefore, the development of technology can be beneficial in other aspects of life excluding the social one. In other words, it dilutes the power of human connections in the real world. Recent evidence indicates that a multitude of people is suffering from solitariness and undesirable disconnections from reality. Thus, it is challenging for them to commit trustworthy relationships outside the realm of cyberspace. As a result, they will experience terrible loneliness when leaving their phones. Generally, we are developing and advancing technology at the expense of the values in interacting between humans.

In conclusion, I endorse that technology benefits people with speedy services and advanced networking; however, its presence has taken a toll on the natural way of interactions of humankind.

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Thanks a million, ^^.