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Yaasaay Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Can you correct my essay?please

hi guys

can you correct my essay?

it is two and just introduction essay



The Obesity is increasing

Nowadays, the obesity has become a real problem. There is about 40% of the world who have increase in weight. However before about one century, the obesity did not exist or spreads too mush. But over only 100 years approximately half the world has suffered from this sick .So what are the causes for the obesity? There are many causes for the obesity and I will discuss only the main reasons in my essay.





Exercise and Health

Most people like to have a good and beautiful body. Therefore, exercise is the key to have a healthy body. However, some people still have not done it, because they are lazy. Then, no doing exercise with the time will effect on our health. Otherwise, your health become more badly. Also doing exercise with the wrong way has a negative effect.





  

Top answer

Here are some suggestions: The Obesity is increasing Nowadays, the obesity has become a real problem. There is About 40% of the world 's population who have increase d in weight. However before about one century ago , the obesity did not exist or spread too mu c h.

  • Here are some suggestions: The Obesity is increasing Nowadays, the obesity has become a real problem.
  • There is About 40% of the world 's population who have increase d in weight.
  • However before about one century ago , the obesity did not exist or spread too mu c h.
  • But over after only 100 years approximately half the world has suffered is suffering from this sick ness .
  • So what are the causes for the obesity?
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4 Answers
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Here are some suggestions:

The Obesity is increasing
Nowadays, the obesity has become a real problem. There is About 40% of the world's population who have increased in weight. However before about one century ago, the obesity did not exist or spread too much. But over after only 100 y
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thank you

can tell me why this sentence is not true ( Otherwise, your health become more badly )
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yaasaaythank you

can tell me why this sentence is not true ( Otherwise, your health become more badly )
Ok.

You began with "otherwise." The idea that follows should be a contrast, or even opposite to the prior sentence, and in your case, it is not. It is a restatement of the same idea.

your health become more badly:

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I have written these also it resume to the first essay and second

Obesity is increasing

The first and main cause of obesity is not doing exercise .As you know ,the benefits of exercise reduce body fat .the movement of the body helps to use calories ,which caused to lose more weight .However ,when physical activi

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