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Wholegrain Posted 17 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

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Discrimination, whether positive or negative, is still discrimination; thus affirmative action is an unjust policy, at least when it concerns the domain of education. To win a selection committee to one's side, one must prove himself through scholastic performances alone, because in the end it is determined more so by merits than the aggregate effect of discrimination; hence, the argument that affirmative action is redressing disadvantages due to overt, institutional, or involuntary discrimination is not pertinent in this case. Furthermore, if there was indeed discrimination so intense that it tends to lower the performance of a certain group, the problem should be solved at its source. It is important to realize that achievement gap do not result exclusively from a discrepancy in treatment between minority groups and the majority, nor merely genetic differences between ethnic groups, but cultural, genetic and structural factors inclusively. Also, while minority children might have access to less resources than White children in general; it is also true that, when matched socio-economically, there are little differences and that we should not single out children in need on account of their ethnicity. Thus instead of singling out certain other groups and thus arguably creating more of the same injustice by opposing it, all policies should be directed at solving socio-economical discrepancy. No sooner do some policy-makers, in order to solve an issue, begin assessing a problem, some others ask for a quick and inadequate solution to be implemented, that sometimes creates new problems. Such policies, I argue, cannot be in my view warranted, and thus should never be implemented.
  

Top answer

Hi, Here are some suggestions. Clive Discrimination, whether positive or negative, is still discrimination; thus affirmative action is an unjust policy, at least when it concerns the domain of education. To win a selection committee to one's side, one must prove one him sel f through scholastic performance alone, because in the end it <<<< what is 'it'?

  • Hi, Here are some suggestions.
  • Clive Discrimination, whether positive or negative, is still discrimination; thus affirmative action is an unjust policy, at least when it concerns the domain of education.
  • To win a selection committee to one's side, one must prove one him sel f through scholastic performance alone, because in the end it <<<< what is 'it'?
  • is determined more so by merits than the aggregate effect of discrimination; hence, the argument that affirmative action is redressing disadvantages due to overt, institutional, or involuntary discrimination is not pertinent in this case.
  • Furthermore, if there was indeed discrimination so intense that it tends to lower the performance of a certain group, the problem should be solved at its source.
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8 Answers
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Hi,
Here are some suggestions.

Clive

Discrimination, whether positive or negative, is still discrimination; thus affirmative action is an unjust policy, at least when it concerns the domain of education. To win a selection committee to one's side, one must prove onehimself through scholastic performance alone, because in the end it <<<<
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Thank you.

I agree with all of it except: "performance"

I hear a lot of people say "performances".

and do you believe I should take "in my view" off because it is redundant?
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it = performance

inclusively = not excluding any, including all of them
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Hi,
I agree with all of it except: "performance"

I hear a lot of people say "performances". Yes, but it seems to me that here you are using the word in a general sense, so the singular is more appropriate.

and do you believe I should take "in my view" off because it is redundant? Yes. You've already said this is your argument.

it = performance I wasn't able to und
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Thank you. I will keep on improving myself.
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I forgot to ask one thing: isn't "also" the same thing as "furthermore"?
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Hi,
Generally speaking, it's not considered good style to start a sentence with 'also'.

Clive

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