Can you check my writing task 1 for me, please? Thank you very much!

These two pie charts depict the percentage of advanced technology devices including mobile phones, laptops, tablet desktop computers, Flat-screen TV, and conventional TV that people from the 18 to 25 age group used to watch television programs in Canada in 2009 and 2019. At first glance, it is clear that the number of people who utilized traditional TV, laptop, and desktop computer decreased over one decade, while there was a dramatic growth of modern devices used by young Canadians for watching television. Notably, conventional Tv and tablet witnessed the biggest difference over ten years.

Looking at the detail, in 2009, conventional TV made up the biggest proportion, then it declined dramatically and reached its lowest point at 4% until 2019. The number of laptop and desktop viewers experienced the same pattern that it was around a fifth of the total for the formel significantly fell to exactly 12% over ten-period.

On the other hand, the number of young people who utilized tablets and a flat-screen TV to watch TV was trivial with no more than one-tenth of the total in 2009. However, there was a significantly rose in the use of tablets to 19% between 2009 to 2019. Similarly, the flat-screen TV jumped up and made it the top device in terms of TV viewing at nearly three-tenth of the total. Lastly, the use of cell phones started at a quarter of the total, then increased to second place with 26%.