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Nanduni Posted 8 years ago
Grammar

Can you check my poem please?

My Autumn's Lover

I wish I were a bird

So I could fly to your house;

Where I longed to live too.

I will sit on the window seat

And look through the window pane

Covered with dust and dirt.


There I see the face

The face I longed to see for years

The face I longed to catch a glimpse

I see the innocent face

Fallen Fast asleep in peace

The face I wished to kiss

Not yesterday but decades ago

Wrinkled now with hairs grey


A fallen glass there I see

With some brown liquid spilled

And a cigar half burnt

But yearning for life yet


Oh dear lover!

Wake up and see who is here

The time has come

For us to unite

  

Top answer

I'll give you my input. I think the title could be better. Otherwise, I put in some comments for punctuation, but the fact is that a poet may choose to ignore such rules if you want poetic license.

— Englishmaven

  • I'll give you my input.
  • I think the title could be better.
  • Otherwise, I put in some comments for punctuation, but the fact is that a poet may choose to ignore such rules if you want poetic license.
  • I wouldn't see the point in it, though, especially with this kind of poem.
  • It's a nice little poem.
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1 Answers
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I'll give you my input. I think the title could be better. Otherwise, I put in some comments for punctuation, but the fact is that a poet may choose to ignore such rules if you want poetic license. I wouldn't see the point in it, though, especially with this kind of poem. It's a nice little poem. Keep writing.

My Autumn's Lover

I wish I were a bird

So I c

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