Can you check for my IELTS writing task 2? (test 4- cam 11) Thanks a lot!

* Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

People hold different views about what is the most important aspect of a country. Economic development is considered as the most vital purpose of a country by many governments. Whilst others opine that other types of progress are similarly salient for a nation. In spite of these arguments, I subscribe to the latter view.

On the one hand, economic development is an essential purpose of a country. The health of economy has a huge impact on life of the residents. A good economy, for instance, can increase income of all people, let people enjoy higher standard of life. As a result, people have a decent opportunity to develop comprehensively and they are happier. In contrast, a weak economy leads to a lot of problems in all aspects of a country. To illustrate, a nation struggling with poverty tends to experience a higher rate of unemployment, higher criminal rate,higher incidence of bankruptcy,etc. These things cause an unstable life for its residents.

On the other hand, the development of other fields also play the key role in prosperity of a state in general. For example, if a country does not pay attention to enhance technology, it can not promote its productivity and easily become obsolete. Another example is education. An inadequate concentration on this field can cause an inferior human resource. This problem can stifle a nation from prosperity.

In conclusion, I would agree with those who believe that all the fields have the same importance in a country’s development. The government should have equal allocation for each aspect.