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Creativeguru Posted 10 years ago
Grammar
Can we shorten the second line?
He taught his son how to walk.
But, are you sure he’ll be there to jump out of happiness when his son wins his first race.
Thanks
But, are you sure he’ll be there to jump out of happiness when his son wins his first race.
Thanks
Top answer
The second line is a bit awkward and took me a couple of readings to get what you meant, so it'd be good to change it. ' That would clear some of the ambiguity and say what you mean, but it's still not got that 'natural' feel to it. ' There are alternatives, but any combination of the one above has a slightly more natural feel.
- The second line is a bit awkward and took me a couple of readings to get what you meant, so it'd be good to change it.
- ' That would clear some of the ambiguity and say what you mean, but it's still not got that 'natural' feel to it.
- ' There are alternatives, but any combination of the one above has a slightly more natural feel.
- ' Of course, that takes out certain elements and emotions so isn't really as interesting!
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2 Answers
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The second line is a bit awkward and took me a couple of readings to get what you meant, so it'd be good to change it.
'But, are you sure he'll be there to jump with happiness when his son wins his first race?'
That would clear some of the ambiguity and say what you mean, but it's still not got that 'natural' feel to it.
''But ( will he / can you be sure he'll ) be there
'But, are you sure he'll be there to jump with happiness when his son wins his first race?'
That would clear some of the ambiguity and say what you mean, but it's still not got that 'natural' feel to it.
''But ( will he / can you be sure he'll ) be there
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