Can we bend the rules with this?

Instead of:

'Mike Smith, 35, of Dallas, Texas; John Buchanan, 50, of Sarasota, Florida; and Evelyn Davis, 43, of Charlotte, North Carolina, were arrested on charges of grand larceny.'

Can we do this to reduce the migraine-inducing punctuation? Opt for USPS state abbreviations, eliminate the cumbersome commas between city and state, and use parentheses to enclose the ages. Is the example below, albeit contrary to traditional punctuation, a viable option in your estimation?

Mike Smith (35) of Dallas TX, John Buchanan (50) of Sarasota FL, and Evelyn Davis (43) of Charlotte NC were arrested on charges of grand larceny.'