can u please give some input about the first draft of my SOP?

My goal is to become a leading scientist in the field of aerospace and to empower the role of women in the aerospace industry of India. I feel that undergraduate studies merely provide the glimpse of the great expanse of the physics and technology involved in building an airplane or a space vehicle. To conduct any substantial research that can contribute to the advancement of any field expertise is what is required and pursuing a master’s degree is the first step to gaining that expertise. It is said that “A wise man is strong”. So is a wise woman. I believe that only through education that the discrimination between genders will be eliminated. By pursuing my dream I hope to inspire many women who are discouraged by the society which thinks that fields like aerospace are not a woman’s cup of tea.
My father and mother both being educators, I learned about the value of education at a very early age. I have consistently been in the top 5% of my class throughout my schooling. In my high school I was drawn towards the traditional art form of kuchipudi dance. With my mother’s constant encouragement I went on and completed a four year long certificate course in kuchipudi dance from Potti Sreeramulu Telugu University. Everyone including my parents thought I would become a full-time Professional Dancer. Though I was very interested in dancing I never lost sight of my true passion of studying about the great engineering that went into the making of an aircraft. The passion which I first discovered when our school took us on a field trip to The Air Force Academy in Dundigal. While seeing the aircraft take off I wondered with true amazement as to how can anything as heavy as that aircraft fly like a little bird. Later I found a way to answer my question- “Aeronautical Engineering”. Hence I joined in the Institute of Aeronautical Engineering, the best aeronautical college of our state.
Here I was introduced to the various sub-disciplines of aeronautical engineering. I was initially drawn towards C program, computer aided drawing and the like and I excelled in them. Then I was introduced to the beauty of aerodynamics by Dr. Kunal Gosh a renowned aerodynamist. I instantly fell in love with the marvelous subject which explains the theory of how an airplane is supported in thin air. Later I learned about Computational Aerodynamics, from Dr. Subbaraju who worked with ISRO, which is an integration of computer programming with concepts of aerodynamics. There I realized that I have found the subject I would relish to study about for the rest of my life.
From Wright brother’s Wright Flyer-1 to Boeing 787 Dreamliner and F-35A, USA has been the leader in the world of aeronautical technology and I want to learn from the best, hence I choose to study in this eclectic country. I want to be a part of the American Dream and use the great opportunities provided by this country to all men and women equally to become an expert in my field of choice and serve my country with the knowledge I will acquire.