can u help me?

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Dear Savy or anybody,Can u help me for letter which I add below. I need some comments and correction. Thanks in advance!!Whiteleaf1. Please list here your main subjects of scientific interest (present and future). Include as far as you can your particular interests, be they experimental, theoretical or issue-oriented, and show how your background and our program support these interests. If you wish to do your thesis research with specific professors or laboratories at ISREC- EPFL/DB-UNIL, please list these. (1page max.)First of all, when I was a little girl, I lost my grandfather and two aunts. Due to the two different type (lung and colon) of cancer. My mum` s father is prostate. My family history affects my future planning, studies. If your family has members suffering from cancer, you can understand effects of in your life in a clear way. My losses have been creating a big hole in my heart and our sadness is continuing. However, I have to do something for them and the other cancerous individuals. At end of the university I knew what I want to study so I chose genetics. I am interested in the study of human genetics, biotechnology and their related subdisciplines such as, molecular and biochemical mechanisms, diagnosis of genetic diseases. My educational background and the study field have shifted my attention to the above mentioned scientific area and I am quite determined and willing to conduct a doctorate study in this field. I have always thought science as a natural part of real life. Therefore, I think science should not be the only goal in itself because it is combined with our lives. For this reason, conducting such a study will be a part of my life and I aim to improve both my personality and professional knowledge in this field. After giving genetic master dissertation, I decide to study cancer. I am particularly intrigued by the following research questions what is the molecular mechanisms and regulations of genetic illness, especially cancer. Besides therapeutic agents for treatment, recombinant DNA technology and technologies of stem cell start to develop and improve identification and characterization of cancer` s pathways. I know cancer is a big pool and we have less little knowledges. With my challenges and scientific ambition I want to provide contributions in the future. But I have thoughts with consciousness that it will be team working. I am sure that your institution, which has valued scientists, would provide my appetite. Consequently, I am willing to attend to ISREC` s cancer researches for my doctorate.I wish to do my thesis with professor who I listed below at ISREC-EPFL:1.....2....3......4.....

Savvysavz · Accepted Answer

Good day WhiteLeaf,

Here's the corrected version:

(delete First of all,) When I was a little girl, I lost my grandfather to prostate cancer and two of my aunts to lung and colon cancer.(delete this sentence: Due to the two different type (lung and colon) of cancer. My mum` s father is prostate.) My family's tragic history shaped my future career(delete planning, studies). (delete If your family has members suffering from cancer, you can understand effects of in your life in a clear way). When one's family members suffer from terminal diseases like cancer, one cannot help but be grief stricken throughout his life .( delete My losses have been creating a big hole in my heart and our sadness is continuing.) However, my loss in turn, influenced me to look into (delete I have to do something for them and the) other cancerous individuals. At end of my university years, I knew what I wanted to study and chose genetics.

I am interested in the study of human genetics, biotechnology and their related subdisciplines such as, molecular and biochemical mechanisms and diagnosis of genetic diseases. My educational background and the study field have shifted my attention to the above mentioned scientific areas and I am (delete quite) determined and willing to conduct a doctorate study in this field. I have always thought of science as a natural part of real life. Therefore, I think science should not be the only goal in itself because it is combined with our lives. (delete For this reason,) Conducting such a study will be a part of my life and I aim to improve both my personality and professional knowledge in this field.

After giving my dissertation in Genetics, I decide to study cancer. I am particularly intrigued by the following research questions: what is the molecular mechanisms and regulations of genetic illness, especially cancer. Besides therapeutic agents for treatment, recombinant DNA technology and technology of stem cell have started developing and improving identification and characterization of cancer` s pathways. I know cancer is still not fully understood and researched upon. (delete is a big pool and we have less little knowledges). With my challenges and scientific ambition I want to provide contributions in the future. But I as aware that we can find better solutions through team work ( delete have thoughts with consciousness that it will be team working). (delete I am sure that) Your institution, which has (delete valued) scientists of high repute, would fulfill my need in contributing extensive knowledge on cancer in the near future. (delete provide my appetite). Consequently, I am willing to attend ISREC` s cancer researches for my doctorate.

I would be highly obliged to do my thesis with the following professors (delete who I listed below) at ISREC-EPFL:

1..... Prof. ( name of professor)

2....Prof.

3......Prof.

4.....Prof.

Whiteleaf · Answer

Dear Savvy,

Thank u for all your helps. See you!!!

Whiteleaf.

can u help me?

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