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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Letter Writing

Can this be written better?

We had not spoken with John all afternoon, until James had us go to his house with the intention of speaking to him in person. So, this is what both he and I did. But let me tell you, I was so tired by the time we got to John’s house, that I did not know what John was saying at all! John has a knack for bickering that will have you wishing that you were anywhere but in his company, listening to his monotonous words, to which a single brain cell of mine dies at the sound of his beloved Mable. That woman is nothing but a liar and a thief, as has been proven to us many a time, the most noticeable of which was surely when she stole £200 from our Patrick.

Thanks for the other replies. This is the last one I need you to write better. Thanks.
  

Top answer

Anonymous John has a knack for bickering that will have you wishing that you were anywhere but in his company, listening to his monotonous words, to which a single brain cell of mine dies at the sound of his beloved Mable. I don't think you mean bickering here, that means a sort of low-level, constant arguing. I would suggest "rambling" or maybe the more negative "ranting".

— ImDarkerThanYou

  • Anonymous John has a knack for bickering that will have you wishing that you were anywhere but in his company, listening to his monotonous words, to which a single brain cell of mine dies at the sound of his beloved Mable.
  • I don't think you mean bickering here, that means a sort of low-level, constant arguing.
  • I would suggest "rambling" or maybe the more negative "ranting".
  • I would then restructure it as: John has a knack for ranting that has you wishing you were anywhere but in his company, listening to his monotonous words, it's as though a single brain cell dies at every mention of his beloved Mable.
  • I hope that retains the mood you wanted.
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1 Answers
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AnonymousJohn has a knack for bickering that will have you wishing that you were anywhere but in his company, listening to his monotonous words, to which a single brain cell of mine dies at the sound of his beloved Mable.
I don't think you mean bickering here, that means a sort of low-level, constant arguing. I would suggest "rambling" or maybe the more negati
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