Can Someone Please Review This Short Essay? :)

Does anyone mind reviewing my essay for the about financial struggle?
We were asked to write an essay explaining financial needs or unusual circumstances that have impacted your education at this time. Any input is appreciated. Please let me know what you think!

I have not received financial assistance from FASFA, and I have chosen not to burden my family with having to pay for my education. I strive to cover my educational expenses by working at my church in addition to volunteering on Sundays. My family lives off the money that my father makes as the pastor of the church. Our church had to relocate from the building we were renting due to lack of finances. We are currently meeting in a hotel event room on Sundays. This move resulted in a drop in attendance. My father had to skip receiving multiple paychecks to amend for the church’s decreasing finances.

Even though my family lives each day frugally, we live contentedly. However, as for myself, I cannot remove the insecurities I feel in life, and there are times that I have felt like giving up, but the greener pastures that lie ahead continue to spark that little hope that I believe in – the hope that I will be able to raise my family from these dismal times when I graduate and become a successful Mechanical Engineer.

Despite my efforts, it has been a struggle to cover the cost needed to receive a higher education. I live 30 miles from XYZ University, and I commute via motorcycle rain or shine. Receiving a scholarship would alleviate the burden of my tuition at XYZ University and give me the opportunity to purchase the books, tools, and transportation needed for me to earn my degree. If I were to receive a scholarship, I would be extremely grateful, and I would commit myself to taking full advantage of the opportunity that it provided.