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Rcook11x Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Can someone please review my short essay? :)
Can someone please review my short statement for the scholarship committee? Any input is appreciated and feel free to give me your honest opinion. I'm trying to improve! Emotion: smile (statement could only be 300 words)
In the future I aspire to become a Mechanical Engineer. I seek to do this because in my opinion engineers are the makers of history. Nothing has shaped our world, particularly in the last two centuries, more than engineering. The telephone, the automobile, the internet, and the computer. It is almost impossible to imagine a world without them. I am fascinated by the accomplishments engineers have made and the influence that they have made on our society. I want to be part of the industry that is driving human evolution in the modern day.
As a Mechanical Engineer I would not only aim to maintain the excellence of our society’s machinery, but I would like to make advancements in the field of science and technology to ensure that our world has a brighter and more efficient tomorrow. In order to do that I plan to attend COLLEGE NAME, After I get my Associate in Arts degree from COLLEGE NAME, to pursue a degree in Mechanical Engineering.
I strive to take the steps necessary to cover my educational finances by working part-time at my church, as well as volunteering on Sundays. However, it has still been a struggle to cover my expenses on my own. Receiving a scholarship would be extremely beneficial in helping to alleviate the burden of having to pay for my college tuition at COLLEGE NAME on my own. That being said, if I were to receive a scholarship I would commit myself to effectively taking advantage of the opportunity that it provided.
In the future I aspire to become a Mechanical Engineer. I seek to do this because in my opinion engineers are the makers of history. Nothing has shaped our world, particularly in the last two centuries, more than engineering. The telephone, the automobile, the internet, and the computer. It is almost impossible to imagine a world without them. I am fascinated by the accomplishments engineers have made and the influence that they have made on our society. I want to be part of the industry that is driving human evolution in the modern day.
As a Mechanical Engineer I would not only aim to maintain the excellence of our society’s machinery, but I would like to make advancements in the field of science and technology to ensure that our world has a brighter and more efficient tomorrow. In order to do that I plan to attend COLLEGE NAME, After I get my Associate in Arts degree from COLLEGE NAME, to pursue a degree in Mechanical Engineering.
I strive to take the steps necessary to cover my educational finances by working part-time at my church, as well as volunteering on Sundays. However, it has still been a struggle to cover my expenses on my own. Receiving a scholarship would be extremely beneficial in helping to alleviate the burden of having to pay for my college tuition at COLLEGE NAME on my own. That being said, if I were to receive a scholarship I would commit myself to effectively taking advantage of the opportunity that it provided.
Top answer
Basically well-shaped, but it needs polishing: I aspire to become a Mechanical Engineer because in my opinion engineers are the makers of history. Nothing has shaped our world more than engineering, particularly in the last two centuries. The telephone, the automobile, the internet, and the computer—it is impossible to imagine a world without them.
- Basically well-shaped, but it needs polishing: I aspire to become a Mechanical Engineer because in my opinion engineers are the makers of history.
- Nothing has shaped our world more than engineering, particularly in the last two centuries.
- The telephone, the automobile, the internet, and the computer—it is impossible to imagine a world without them.
- I am fascinated by the accomplishments engineers have achieved and the influence that they have had on society.
- I want to be part of the field that is driving modern human evolution.
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2 Answers
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Basically well-shaped, but it needs polishing:
I aspire to become a Mechanical Engineer because in my opinion engineers are the makers of history. Nothing has shaped our world more than engineering, particularly in the last two centuries. The telephone, the automobile, the internet, and the computer—it is impossible to imagine a world without them. I am fascinated by the accomplishment
I aspire to become a Mechanical Engineer because in my opinion engineers are the makers of history. Nothing has shaped our world more than engineering, particularly in the last two centuries. The telephone, the automobile, the internet, and the computer—it is impossible to imagine a world without them. I am fascinated by the accomplishment
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