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Anonymous Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
can someone please rate my GRE issue Essay
I've written an issue essay for the GRE. Could someone please be kind enough to rate it? I have my GRE exam in 4 days. Any kind of comments and suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.
Topic:
All parents should be required to volunteer time to their children's schools.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
The recommendation states that all parents should be required to volunteer time to their children's schools. While implementation of this would certainly be advantageous, it also has a few drawbacks.
If parents were to volunteer to their ward's school, it would certainly benefit the child's development. It is as much the parents' responsibility as the teacher's to ensure all-round development of their child. At the early stages of a child's education, that is in the pre-primary level, parents should be particularly attentive to their children's behavior in school. As these are the formative years, a child needs his or her parents' support not just at home but also in school. As the number of children in a classroom expands and the student - teacher ratio becomes more skewed, it is practically impossible for a single teacher to attend to all the needs of each of his or her students. In such a case, if parents can volunteer in attending a classroom session in order to observe their child's performance, they could be in a better position to understand the progress of the child, particularly at a young age.
However, to make this volunteer time compulsory may not be a good strategy. As more and more families are becoming nuclear families, both parents have a great deal of workload and stress to contend with in their professional lives. In such a situation, whilst already maintaining a tenuous balance between their work and home lives, it might be impossible for a parent to devote time for volunteer work. People are getting increasingly busy and not every parent can afford to take out time for their children apart from home.
As it is impractical for all parents to volunteer, it could be more prudent to make the volunteer work as optional. Each classroom can have a certain number of parents that volunteer in the school activities. They can work alongside the school administration to ensure the welfare of all the students, and to lend a helping hand to the teachers so that they can further the students' education.
In conclusion, although a parent volunteering at their child’s school is a good idea, it may not be prudent to make it compulsory for every parent to volunteer.
Topic:
All parents should be required to volunteer time to their children's schools.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
The recommendation states that all parents should be required to volunteer time to their children's schools. While implementation of this would certainly be advantageous, it also has a few drawbacks.
If parents were to volunteer to their ward's school, it would certainly benefit the child's development. It is as much the parents' responsibility as the teacher's to ensure all-round development of their child. At the early stages of a child's education, that is in the pre-primary level, parents should be particularly attentive to their children's behavior in school. As these are the formative years, a child needs his or her parents' support not just at home but also in school. As the number of children in a classroom expands and the student - teacher ratio becomes more skewed, it is practically impossible for a single teacher to attend to all the needs of each of his or her students. In such a case, if parents can volunteer in attending a classroom session in order to observe their child's performance, they could be in a better position to understand the progress of the child, particularly at a young age.
However, to make this volunteer time compulsory may not be a good strategy. As more and more families are becoming nuclear families, both parents have a great deal of workload and stress to contend with in their professional lives. In such a situation, whilst already maintaining a tenuous balance between their work and home lives, it might be impossible for a parent to devote time for volunteer work. People are getting increasingly busy and not every parent can afford to take out time for their children apart from home.
As it is impractical for all parents to volunteer, it could be more prudent to make the volunteer work as optional. Each classroom can have a certain number of parents that volunteer in the school activities. They can work alongside the school administration to ensure the welfare of all the students, and to lend a helping hand to the teachers so that they can further the students' education.
In conclusion, although a parent volunteering at their child’s school is a good idea, it may not be prudent to make it compulsory for every parent to volunteer.
Top answer
It seems to be written very well, except for you might want to not use the word prudent so much. For example, in this line: As it is impractical for all parents to volunteer, it could be more prudent to make the volunteer work as optional. You could write: As it is impractical for all parents to volunteer, it could be better to make the volunteer work as optional.
- It seems to be written very well, except for you might want to not use the word prudent so much.
- For example, in this line: As it is impractical for all parents to volunteer, it could be more prudent to make the volunteer work as optional.
- You could write: As it is impractical for all parents to volunteer, it could be better to make the volunteer work as optional.
- And in the closing line, you could change it to: although a parent volunteering at their child’s school is a good idea, it may not be a good idea to make it compulsory for every parent to volunteer.
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1 Answers
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It seems to be written very well, except for you might want to not use the word prudent so much. For example, in this line:
As it is impractical for all parents to volunteer, it could be more prudent to make the volunteer work as optional.
You could write: As it is impractical for all parents to volunteer, it could be better to make the volunteer work as optional.
As it is impractical for all parents to volunteer, it could be more prudent to make the volunteer work as optional.
You could write: As it is impractical for all parents to volunteer, it could be better to make the volunteer work as optional.
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