Can someone please rate my essay?
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Students are more influenced by their teacher than by their friends.
Surroundings matter more than anything else, especially when we are growing, in the overall behaviour of a person. Friends and teachers are the two groups of people, a person spends most of his time. Though many people believe that friends have more impact on a student's life, others believe that teachers have more influence. Personally, I agree that students are more influenced by teachers than by friends. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will examine in this essay.
First of all, many students consider teachers as their role models. Evidently, whatever teachers do and teach in the school has direct impact on students behaviour and perspective toward the society. Consequently, if the teacher is soft-spoken and empathetic, the student becomes well-behaved and shows compassion towards others; if the teacher is rude, the same is imitated by the student too. This is best demonstrated by my personal experience. While learning in school, I considered my science teacher a role model. I always wanted to be like her in the way she speaks and her respect for students. Certainly, she considered her students as her own children while teaching. As a result, I behaved in a similar fashion at home and developed similar soft-spoken behaviour. Eventually, I imitated her when talking to my family and friends. I am sure that if I had not considered my science teacher as my role model, I would not have developed this behaviour.
Second, students learn discipline mostly from teachers. In particular, as a student we consider teachers as an authority and have some fears of the punishment for our non-discipline. In contrast, the relationship with friends and family is casual, and sometimes we misbehave with them. However, strict timing and fear of punishment prevent students from wrong doings. Additionally, a teacher can imbibe punctuality by her own behaviours. For instance, my school was particularly strict with punctuality and used to punish students for coming late. My PT teacher taught us punctuality through various strict actions during that time. As a result, I now developed a habit of being punctual and appear in meetings before some time. If my school teachers had been lenient, I would not have learnt the lesson of punctuality.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that teachers have a greater impact on students' lives. This is because they are idols for many and are great sources to learn soft skills, punctuality along with academic knowledge.
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0You wrote over 400 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.
First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.
Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you poin
0Surroundings (Off-topic. It is not about the learning or home environment. Focus on the task.) The people around us matter more than anything else, especially when we are growing up, in the overall behaviour of a person. Friends and teachers are the two groups of peopl
0First of all, many students consider teachers as their role models. Evidently, (not effective. It weakens your argument.) Whatever teachers do and teach in the classroom school has direct impact on student
0Second, students learn discipline mostly from teachers, certainly not from their peers. (This makes a much stronger impact.) In particular, as a student we (wrong form. You need two plurals - student is singular, we is plural)
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