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Ztq3 Posted 13 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Can someone please proofread my short paragraph

This is for my history class. Thanks for all the help.

President Franklin Roosevelt speech in 1935 had a similarity in President Obama’s speech on January 2013. Their speeches focus on rebuilding America. They’re both mentioned how to resolve the nation’s economy crisis. They both had good plans and sounded confident on their speeches. The differences between their speeches are: President Roosevelt speeches only focus in economy crisis in America during the Depression period. His plans were to have work relief program and to have more jobs for men and women. In addition, his intention was to decrease or avoid future unemployment and to help those who were unemployed in the present emergency.
On the other hand, President Obama talked about not only the economy crisis, but also about to end the war in the Middle East and bring the troops home. Some of his plans were to take care of the troops and veterans who fought in the war. In addition, he also talked about fixing the infrastructure and immigration system. Furthermore, his goal is to protect our planet from the destructive effects of climate changed. Lastly, his plan was to protect our children from the horrors of gun violence.
  

Top answer

I have underlined some problem areas. Also, your verb tenses are very inconsistent: President Franklin Roose velt sp eech in 1935 had a similarity in President Obama’s speech on January 2013. Their speeches focus on rebuilding America.

  • I have underlined some problem areas.
  • Also, your verb tenses are very inconsistent: President Franklin Roose velt sp eech in 1935 had a similarity in President Obama’s speech on January 2013.
  • Their speeches focus on rebuilding America.
  • They’re both mentioned how to resolve the nation’s economy crisis.
  • They both had good plans and sounded confident on their speeches.
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8 Answers
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I have underlined some problem areas. Also, your verb tenses are very inconsistent:

President Franklin Roosevelt speech in 1935 had a similarity in President Obama’s speech on January 2013. Their speeches focus on rebuilding America. They’re both mentioned how to resolve the nation’s economy crisis. They both had good plans and so
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Thank you Mister Micawber. Can you please check if the following words/phrases are correct?
1. I do not know how to correct the first underlined word.
2. had similarities
3. in January 2013
4. They talked the nation's economic
5. programs and more jobs...
6. economic crisis
7. to end
8. deleted troops
9. change

Thank you again for your help.
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Please post the whole revised paragraphs so that we can check your changes in context.
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President Franklin Roosevelt’s speech in 1935 had similarities in President Obama’s speech in January 2013. Their speeches focused on rebuilding America. They both talked about the nation’s economic crisis. They both had good plans and sounded confident.

The differences between their speeches are: President Roosevelt’s speech only focused in the economic crisis in America during the Depr
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I have underlined further problems in your last paragraph.

President Franklin Roosevelt’s speech in 1935 had similarities with President Obama’s speech in January 2013. Their speeches focused on rebuilding America. They both talked about the nation’s economic crisis. They both had good plans and sounded confident.

There were also differences between their spe
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I think President Obama's speech had a larger audience than President Roosevelt 's, because of the modern technology. During Roosevelt's time, most people only listen on the radio for the news and I think most of his audience were adults with families. Unlike in the President Obama’s speech, the audience were people of different ages and were of greater media source because of the internet.
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I think President Obama's speech had a larger audience than President Roosevelt's, because of modern communications. During Roosevelt's time, most people only listened to the radio for the news, and I think most of his audience were adults with families. For President Obama’s speech, the audience were people of different ages who had wider access because
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Thank you so much Mister Micawber for your help. :-)

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