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Anonymous Posted 12 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Can someone help me revise this paragraph.
Can someone please revise this paragraph
1. Although major league baseball remains popular, more people are attending minor league baseball game because they can spend less on admission, snacks, and parking and still enjoy the excitement of America’s pastime. Connecticut, for example, has three AA minor league teams, including the New Heaven Ravens, who are affiliated with the St. Louis Cardinals; the Norwich Navigators, who are affiliated with the New York Yankees; and the New Britain Rock Cats, who are affiliated with the Minnesota Twins. These teams play in relatively small stadiums, so fans are close enough to see and hear everything, from the swing of the bat, connecting with the ball to the thud of the ball landing in the outfielder’s glove. Best of all, the cost of a family outing to see rising stars play in a local minor league game is just a fraction of what the family would spend to attend a major league game in a much larger, more crowded stadium.
1. Although major league baseball remains popular, more people are attending minor league baseball game because they can spend less on admission, snacks, and parking and still enjoy the excitement of America’s pastime. Connecticut, for example, has three AA minor league teams, including the New Heaven Ravens, who are affiliated with the St. Louis Cardinals; the Norwich Navigators, who are affiliated with the New York Yankees; and the New Britain Rock Cats, who are affiliated with the Minnesota Twins. These teams play in relatively small stadiums, so fans are close enough to see and hear everything, from the swing of the bat, connecting with the ball to the thud of the ball landing in the outfielder’s glove. Best of all, the cost of a family outing to see rising stars play in a local minor league game is just a fraction of what the family would spend to attend a major league game in a much larger, more crowded stadium.
Top answer
This looks pretty good. A couple of minor changes (in bold): 1. Although major league baseball remains popular, more people are attending minor league baseball games because they can spend less on admission, snacks, and parking and still enjoy the excitement of America’s pastime.
- This looks pretty good.
- A couple of minor changes (in bold): 1.
- Although major league baseball remains popular, more people are attending minor league baseball games because they can spend less on admission, snacks, and parking and still enjoy the excitement of America’s pastime.
- Connecticut, for example, has three AA minor league teams, including the New Heaven Haven Ravens, who are affiliated with the St.
- Louis Cardinals; the Norwich Navigators, who are affiliated with the New York Yankees; and the New Britain Rock Cats, who are affiliated with the Minnesota Twins.
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1 Answers
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This looks pretty good. A couple of minor changes (in bold):
1. Although major league baseball remains popular, more people are attending minor league baseball games because they can spend less on admission, snacks, and parking and still enjoy the excitement of America’s pastime. Connecticut, for example, has three AA minor league teams, including the NewHeaven
1. Although major league baseball remains popular, more people are attending minor league baseball games because they can spend less on admission, snacks, and parking and still enjoy the excitement of America’s pastime. Connecticut, for example, has three AA minor league teams, including the New
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