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Misslady Posted 22 years ago
Letter Writing

Can someone help me proof-read a one page letter?

Can someone help me proof-read a one page letter (cover letter)?

Dear Mr. ***,

I have been developing my talents as a Certified Trainee Appraiser with a Commercial Real Estate Appraisal Firm. The path that the Principals have put me on does not offer enough challenge. The talents and skills I have acquired from other endeavors in life are not being used to there potential. I have received awards from the National Aeronautics Space Administration (NASA) for producing documents that needed to be error free and approved by NASA Quality Department. The quick pace environment I thrive in is also not present.

I would greatly like to apply my skills and time to increase your company’s growth. Using my talents for attention to details; developed by my finance and computer experience, my self-motivation; that gets me to my goals, and my creative perceptive nature; supported by years of Architectural Drawing in high school and taking Architectural elective classes in college.

My life revolves around real estate. A close friend, of ten years, is a real estate agent who I have helped numerous times showing houses. It has also been a task of mine to locate properties on the Multiple Listing Service. Also several people, close to me are Mortgage Brokers. Anticipating that I would have to generate clients, I have a capable market to draw from. As well I plan on marketing myself to many different groups.

I look forward to talking with you further about opportunities at *** Inc. I can be reached best by e-mail at ***@yahoo.com or at my home phone number ###.###.####. You can also try ###.###.#### a cell phone number.
  

Top answer

misslady, You have numerous gramatical mistakes in your letter. I don't have time right now to look through your letter--perhaps sometime this weekend. Try rewriting your essay and see if you can make some improvements.

  • misslady, You have numerous gramatical mistakes in your letter.
  • I don't have time right now to look through your letter--perhaps sometime this weekend.
  • Try rewriting your essay and see if you can make some improvements.
  • Very quickly, I found your wording in paragraph one needs improvement, you wording and grammar in paragraph two needs a lot of improvement, and paragraph 3 needs some tuning up as well.
  • If anyone else wants to jump in and assist, by all means.
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2 Answers
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misslady,

You have numerous gramatical mistakes in your letter. I don't have time right now to look through your letter--perhaps sometime this weekend.

Try rewriting your essay and see if you can make some improvements. Very quickly, I found your wording in paragraph one needs improvement, you wording and grammar in paragraph two needs a lot of improvement, and paragraph 3 ne
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I have been developing my talents as a Certified Trainee Appraiser with a Commercial Real Estate Appraisal Firm. I have received awards from the National Aeronautics Space Administration (NASA) for producing documents that needed to be error free and approved by NASA Quality Department.

[complete rewrite is required]

[complete rewrite is required]


I look forwa

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