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Rahul Shah Posted 11 years ago
Grammar

Can someone help me out by pointing out mistakes in the following sentences.

Hi there,

Can someone help me out by pointing out mistakes in the following sentences.

First Sentence:

In the event of a sale of the business, X will be entitled to 10% of the surplus proceeds that are generated by the sale. The surplus proceeds are the proceeds that remain after the monies owed to the trust, banks, creditors and the like have been paid.

Second Sentence:

X is allowed to make a request of an advance of $100 on the profit share on a monthly or fortnightly basis. The amount of advance payment will be deducted from the future profit shares until the amount is repaid in full.

Any suggestions would be highly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
  

Top answer

In the event of sale of the business, X shall be entitled to 10% of the surplus proceeds generated by the sale. The surplus proceeds are those proceeds that remain after any monies owed to the trust, banks, and any other creditors have been paid. X is allowed to request an advance of $100 on X's profit share on a monthly or fortnightly basis, which amount shall be deducted from future profit shares until repaid in full.

  • In the event of sale of the business, X shall be entitled to 10% of the surplus proceeds generated by the sale.
  • The surplus proceeds are those proceeds that remain after any monies owed to the trust, banks, and any other creditors have been paid.
  • X is allowed to request an advance of $100 on X's profit share on a monthly or fortnightly basis, which amount shall be deducted from future profit shares until repaid in full.
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2 Answers
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In the event of sale of the business, X shall be entitled to 10% of the surplus proceeds generated by the sale. The surplus proceeds are those proceeds that remain after any monies owed to the trust, banks, and any other creditors have been paid.

X is allowed to request an advance of $100 on X's profit share on a monthly or fortnightly basis, which amount shall be deducted from
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Suggestion:

In the event of a sale of the business, X will be entitled to 10% of the profit. The profit is the net sale proceeds; that is the gross proceeds of the sale less all the costs (taxes, commissions, business debts and obligations).

X is allowed to request monthly or fortnightly advances of $100, which is a loan on future revenue. This debt obligation will be deducted

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