Can someone give me sone comment on my essay for IELTS task 2 please?

Hi everyone, I'm new here.

I'm preparing for my upcoming Ielts exam. I would be very appreciate your help with my writing. Please give me some comment on my essay. Thanks in advance!

Topic: Living in big cities is bad for health. To what extend do you agree/disagree?

Critics of urbanization believes that residents in large citiesare just trading off their health against a higher salary, due to the potential threats that urban life poses on human being.Personally, I totally agree with this idea for the following reasons:

First of all, with the exponential growth of their population, many big cites have now become severely polluted and poisonous to their residents. People in urban areas often confront various types of pollution that decrease their health day by day. To put it more precisely, the air that is alarmingly polluted by exhaust fumes from vehicles, factories and household facilities like heaters, air-con, is the main culprit of lungs diseases or skin cancer today. Constant noises from traffic jam, overcrowded neighborhood or machines make our ears suffer, leading to severe headache or even hearing impairment. Hence, city life is hazardous to human’s well-being because of its unclean and cacophonousatmosphere.

Secondly, although a higher living standard is something totally achievable in big cities, citizens, in fact, face various sources of stress. They live in an extremely competitive world, where each individual comes to term with huge workload on a daily basis, forcing themselves to finish it under the pressure of being made redundant anytime.Furthermore, social problems arising from a modern, fast-paced lifestyle like robbery, using illegal drugs, social class prejudice or increasing distances between family members also worry citizens in big cities. Such sources of stress are contributing factors to a poor health condition that urbanitesmay suffer.

To conclude, living in large cities is unhealthy, because these cities offer a polluted and stressful environment that is detrimental to human’s physical and mental condition. It is advisable people consider the pros and cons of settling down in big cities to make the best move for their life.