Can someone give me some comments about this Ielts Task 1 essay?

Cam 14 - Test 1 - Task 1 written by me. CALLING FOR COMMENTS.
The given pie charts compare the proportions of 3 different nutrients in 4 meals consumed by American people.
Overall, it can be seen that most of the daily Sodium and Saturated Fat intake are consumed in Dinner while Sugar is consumed most in Snack. Regardless of the types of nutrients, an excessive consumption of any or all may lead to potential health risks for individuals.
The proportion of Sodium consumed in Dinner is nearly half of the daily intake and 3 times as much as that of Breakfast and Snack. Also, the average Dinner’s Saturated Fat consumed by the US population is 37%, which is more than twice the Breakfast’s. In contrast, it is noticeable that a US person would get 42% of his daily Sugar intake from Snack, which is the largest percentage while both Breakfast and Lunch only provide less than 20%. Besides, the disproportion of nutrients intake between the meals could contribute to related health issues.