Can someone give me feedback for this Task 2 essay? Thanks a lot.

Watching a life performance such as a play, concert or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, there is a wide range of ways to watch events such as concerts or plays. Personally, I believe that the events should be watched directly rather than watched through televisions

It goes without saying that watching a live performance can facilitate people to have a particular feeling of joining in an event. First of all, people have an opportunity get away with other activities and completely immersed in the events they participate. For example, an overwhelming amount of work can be put aside because a live performance with vibrant atmosphere and other people having the same interests can make them merely concentrate on the performance. Moreover, audiences can meet performers face-to-face to interact or cheer them up with enthusiam and avidivity while watching the same event on TV, they cannot have that kind of interaction and just fixate on the screen.

Additionally, watching the live events is more valuable and bring a great sense of satisfaction to people. Most direct events have a limited capacity of participants and even people come to join may have to pay a fairly large amount of money to being an audience of the events. Thus, people would have a belief that they need to enjoy the concerts or plays as much as possible because of the money and time they spend. Besides, taking part in a live performance, people can create loads of memorable experience not only with their well-respected performers but also the audiences who can be your new friends after the events. In other words, people watching a live performance would have amazing moments which they can never have when watching on the TV.

In conclusion, I believe that watching a live performance is far more fun and relaxing than watching them on a TV because of the desirable conditions and meaningful experience bringing to people by the direct events.