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Anonymous Posted 17 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Can someone give me advise on this or revise this for me? Please my friend.

Hey, how is it going? I need some help answering this question. If someone to whom writing comes naturally can revise my response to this question. I welcome all the advise you can provide me to improve my writing and my response to this question.

Explain below why you believe you should be considered a disadvantaged applicant?

I grew up in a rural portion of India until the age of nine and at this stage my family was borderline lower class and at certain moments we were part of it. My father was the bread winner and frequently, he would scrabble whatever he can to provide me and my three siblings while my mother was and still is a housewife. Needless to say, my father also had his siblings to provide for as well. It was good fortunate my extended family vouched to bring us to America. Given the cultural shock and existing financial burden, my father went to Chicago to become a taxi driver while the rest of the family stayed in Houston. During the transition stage, we moved multiple times trying to obtain the stable residents but everything came to a halt when my father got into serve accident that led him disable and then later on he had bypass surgery. Since then, my father is on Medicare and Medicaid. I got through college with the aid of mostly loans and work while occasionally supported my brother as well. Nevertheless, I am fortunate to be alive and be healthy but at the same time, I am at a disadvantage that I grew up without a steady financial support even though I cannot ever pay my father back for his diligent work.
  

Top answer

Explain below why you believe you should be considered a disadvantaged applicant? ) I grew up in a rural portion of India until the age of nine and at this stage my family was borderline lower class (rephrase) . My father was the bread winner , and he did whatever he can (tense) to provide for me and my three siblings while my mother took care of us .

— Julielai

  • Explain below why you believe you should be considered a disadvantaged applicant?
  • ) I grew up in a rural portion of India until the age of nine and at this stage my family was borderline lower class (rephrase) .
  • My father was the bread winner , and he did whatever he can (tense) to provide for me and my three siblings while my mother took care of us .
  • Needless to say, my father also had his siblings to provide for as well.
  • It was good fortunate my extended family brought us to America.
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6 Answers
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Explain below why you believe you should be considered a disadvantaged applicant?

(Reword the parts in brown.)

I grew up in a rural portion of India until the age of nine and at this stage my family was borderline lower class (rephrase) . My father was the bread winner, and he did whatever he can (tense) to provide for me and my three siblings while my mothe
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I grew up in a rural portion of India until the age of nine and I recall my family was in the midst of middle to lower class, and sometimes, in the latter. My father was the bread winner, and he did whatever he could to provide for me and my three siblings while my mother took care of us. Needless to say, my father also had his siblings to provide for as well. Out of no where, blessing was bestow
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I'll be the first to say, My grammer is horrible!
If someone can help me make my response sound more fluid, that would be great.

Explain below why you believe you should be considered a disadvantaged applican

I grew up in a rural portion of India until the age of nine and I recall my family was in the midst of middle to lower class, and sometimes, in the latter. My father wa
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Here are some suggestions:

I grew up in a rural portion of India until the age of nine. At that time I recall my family was in the midst of being middle to lower class, and sometimes, in the latter. My father was the bread winner, and he did whatever he could to provide for me and my three siblin
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First of all, I want to thank you for your time. May *** reward you.

Does this sound better?

. During the transition stage, we moved multiple times trying to settle but things become more unstable and life came to a halt when my father was injured in a severe accident and later on had to undergo bypass surgery. Since then, my father has been on Medicare and Medicaid.
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Hi, I need some help on making this response sound more intellectual, please help me.

Explain below why you believe you should be considered a disadvantaged applicant:

I grew up in rural until the age of nine. At that time I recall my family being middle to lower class, and sometimes the latter. My father was the bread winner, and
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