Can someone evaluate my writing skill?

I'm aiming to get at least 7.0 writing in an IELTS test. I tried this on an AI test website and it scores my essay 7.5. But I'm not sure if the evaluation is correct. Can someone rate my essay and see if it can actually get the same score? https://docs.google.com/document/d/1V8jZMviCqy-w3u8dUpjROtvATecYKeOg/edit