0
Lavinia94 Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Can someone check this writing?

When was last time you were ill or had an accident? What happpend? How did you feel?

May be it wasn't the last time but I'm sure I won't forget it.
I had a car accident when I was 12. I was crossing the street with my headphones on listening to music on full volume. I didn't hear the car coming towards me. All I remember is waking up at the hospital in pain. I had broken my left arm and my entire body was covered in bruises. My mother was very worried. I had luck. I could have been hurt much worse.
At the hospital I was bored to death. I had to stay in there for five days and with my arm broken there wasn't much to do.
Since the accident I don't cross a street without making it clear that no car is going to crush into me. I have learned my lesson.
  

Top answer

I would make a few, small corrections to your essay: When was last time you were ill or had an accident? What happpen e d? How did you feel?

  • I would make a few, small corrections to your essay: When was last time you were ill or had an accident?
  • What happpen e d?
  • How did you feel?
  • I had a car accident when I was 12.
  • ] Maybe it wasn't the last time I was hurt but I'm sure I won't forget it.
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

3 Answers
0
I would make a few, small corrections to your essay:

When was last time you were ill or had an accident? What happpened? How did you feel?

I had a car accident when I was 12. [Note: Start with the event and add in the opening.] Maybe it wasn't the last time I was hurt but I'm sure I won't forget it. I was crossing the street with my headphones
0
Add to my fuller remarks: "crash into me" or "crush me."
0

i wont forget anyone easily

Related Questions