Can someone check my Ielts writing? Thanks a lot!

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.

Why is this the case?

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Children nowadays tend to become addicted to smartphones; they use their devices almost every day. From my perspective, their parents are responsible for that action, and I think spending too much time on cell phones causes lots of bad effects on the young.

There are so many reasons why children use smartphones for hours and hours. Cellular devices contain irresistible things like video games, social networking, shopping applications, and so on. The minors are tempted by these features, and they can stay in a position all day long. Therefore, some parents give smartphones to their children so they will not make mischief, and these adults will have enough space to work or do other activities. Especially during the pandemic Covid-19, when all people were in quarantine, the young had nothing to do but play on their smartphones. As a result, their parents let them use smartphones every time, and when it becomes a habit, it is so hard for a child to give up using their phone.

It can be seen that mobile phones are not bad, but spending too much time on them brings more drawbacks than benefits. First of all, seeing its screens for hours and hours can cause short-sightedness. Moreover, playing games or surfing tiktok, for example, can reduce the minors' cognitive ability, as it will make the brain more “lazy”. Children who rely heavily on smartphones when attending schools will become disoriented. In addition, cell phones can be addictive, and the minors who use them a lot will not prefer to go out. Obesity and other diseases in children can be caused by a lack of mobility when playing on smartphones day after day.

Ultimately, because some parents do not limit the time spent on cellular devices by their minors, I am convinced that if this trend keeps going, it will strongly harm the young.