Can someone check my IELTS writing task 2? Thanks a lot!

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In terms of advertisements, one may argue that they are really helpful in attracting customers. Others might argue that they appear everywhere and that makes the community bored. From my perspective, I believe that promotion still affects the way people buy their products.

On the one hand, there are so many reasons why people seem to be indifferent while being surrounded by advertising. Firstly, some broadcasts give inaccurate information about the products, so people begin to lose faith in advertisements. With the appearance of publications everywhere, businesses are racing to promote their best image, but some forget to improve their products’ quality simultaneously. That makes the community suspicious and tends to give a strict view to new products when they are released. Besides, lots of advertisements mean that customers have more choices, and they struggle to choose what is the best. Some people, therefore, prefer to retake the old ones rather than try something new.

On the other hand, despite a few negative trends in consumer psychology, advertising is still efficient in manipulating customers’ behaviours. When people are bored with common broadcasts, companies start to create more exciting and, moreover, peculiar advertisements. Even if they get positive or negative reactions, businesses are successful in attracting a number of curious viewers, and more viewers means more potential customers. Take Apple, for example. A lot of discussions appeared when the new version of the iPhone was released. People argued about the price, the features, the colour, and many other topics around that smartphone, but Apple always sold out their products. Obviously, creating discussions is one way of advertising, and that seems extremely efficient with Apple.

Ultimately, although advertising may gradually lose its “power”, I am convinced that it still has enough ability to influence the community.