can someone check my grammar....my english pro is a hard grader

When I was in high school, my friends always called me “Mr. Personality”. I had such nickname because of my bad temper. Whenever there were problems and setbacks, I would be so easy to be disappointed and upset, and I liked to complain about that to others. My friends often tried to comfort me with patience at first, but my over emotional responses and poor manner always resulting in angered them at the end. One of my friends could not agree with what I had done and lectured me that, “If you just keep complaining and arguing with others until you die, then you will miss a lot in your life.” I did not response, and he Continued his sermon, “Take it easy, just enjoy every moment you live and treasure everyone you love and care.” I was inspired by what he said, and it later became my maxim. The significance of life is not measured by how long people have lived, but by what people have achieved.

My friend’s name is Shawn. He was about five feet seven with a very slim body shape. People could easily recognize him by his symbolic red baseball hat which always attracted their attention. Shawn had a completely opposite personality than mine. His optimistic and easy going characteristic earned many complements and acceptances from most peers in my high school. Through my twenty years life, Shawn plays a very important role. He is just like a brother to me. Shawn and I graduated from the same high school and went to the same college, and he was also my roommate. I always imagine the day that we would both wear black long graduation gowns and throwing our college diploma to each other like what we had done in our high school graduation.

One night in my second months of college, Shawn received a phone call from his girlfriend, Jean, and Shawn told me that Jean decided to end their three years relationship. During the bed time, I heard Shawn creeping, sneezing his nose, and mumbling in his bed on the night. It surprised me. I had never seen him in such depression since I knew him. On the second day, I tried to comfort him with my other friend Vince. During lunch, Shawn pretended that he is calm. However, we found the truth on his face, His emotionless face looks like the stones in the . Sadness and despair lived in his heart for whole week. Vince and I used all the methods to relieve Shawn’s pain. On Saturday night, three of us went to downtown L.A for dinner. After that, Shawn asked Vince and me to go to the . We both were hesitated at first but we did not reject his invitation because none of us want to disappoint Shawn. However, I can not regret more after that night.

The date was November 4th, 2007. It was a cold and humid night. Above of our heads, the army of fog was marching all over the sky. I was sitting on the front passenger while Shawn was driving his black Honda Civic, and Vince was sitting behind the driver seat. About 1:45 am, we drove on freeway 10 with the speed around 70 miles per hour. At 2:00am, we passed the freeway 405. We were the only car on the freeway. Outside of the windows, the fog grew thicker on the freeway as the street lights looked shadier and weaker. At the sudden, the feeling of panic came out from my heart. My sweaty hands were involuntarily shaking while my heart beating faster and faster. I looked around the car, Vince slept with his disturbing snoring while Shawn was crooning the melody of “Stronger” by Kanye West. When I just turned my attention to the front, a black Audi with no light on suddenly appeared right in front of us and rushing toward us. Shawn immediately turned the steering wheel to the right, and He shouted, “What the…..” Then, black Audi collided to the left front side of our car with a extremely loud noise. After that, our car spun like a top and hit the shoulder of the freeway.

Our car finally stopped. I was awaked, but I could not believe and understand what was just happened. I closed my eyes and took a long deep breath. When I just opened my eyes, I felt painful on my left arm. Then I looked at my left side, I found that Shawn’s body leaned back on the seat like a gun shot victim. His eyes were closed when blood came out from his mouth. I used all of the power from my body and yelled, “Shawn! Wake up Shawn!” However, I did not see any response from him. I immediately turned to Vince There was blood and broken glass all over his face while his body was wriggling. Instantly, I loosened my seat belt, opened the door, and bounced out from the car. I opened the back door and tried to drag Vince out of the car. But I failed to loosen his seat belt which stuck him in the back seat. I waved and yelled to coming cars. A taxi stopped by and noticed me he had dialed 911.

The Honda Civic was crushed like a squeezed soda can. Broken glass, wheels, and particles fall all over the ground. In a moment, two patrol cars stopped next to our car. I came to them and begged, “Please save my friends in the car, they are bleeding.” 2:10am, the fire trucks and ambulances had arrived. I kept begging to them to save my friends, and a police tried to console my feeling and told me to sit aside. The torches from police beamed on Shawn and the crushed civic. My body was shaking and I heard the wind was shouting. Then, I saw the fireman and nurses carried Vince into the ambulance but Shawn was still in the car. “Why don’t they save him?” I kept asking myself, but I did not have any energy to speak them out. Soon, a fireman walked slowly to me, and I pointed my finger to Shawn. He shook his head, choked and informed me that, “Your friend…..Um” He paused for a second. “He couldn’t make it……” In a meanwhile, I saw something white that appeared on the top of my head. I did not remember anything after that.

At 3:00pm, I woke up. I saw my brother and aunt sat right next to my bed. When I tried to speak, my aunt nodded her head and spoke, “We all knew what happened.” My brother noticed me that Vince was still suffering in a critical condition. Suddenly, tear poured down from my eyes like a water fall. Several minutes later, two police came in, and they asked me about what happened and what I remembered. After I told them the whole story, they told me I should count myself lucky instead of being sad because I would be the one being killed if Shawn did not put steering wheel to the right side. Also, they noticed me that, the female driver in the black Audi was seriously drunk. Although she did not have any injuries, she would be charged by a second degree murder.

After the accident, I felt I went into a new stage of life. Although I can never stop to think about Shawn’s death for even one day in these 11 months, I always tried to cheer myself up. Especially when I saw Vince was rapidly recovered from critical injuries. Also, my family and friends always care about me. Therefore, I do not want to give any more worry to them. Not like before, I no longer complain or moan about what had happened on us. I did my best to make myself calm and think more optimistic. Whenever I thought about what happened in November 4th, 2007, I could hear Shawn’s voice echoing, “Just enjoy every moment you live and treasure everyone you love and care.”