Can someone check my grammar ( especially fragment and commasplice )

Question

topic : the biggest obstacle i have had overcome

Life seems to be full of obstacles that God created to challange our toughnesses. Ssuccesses do not come without obstacles on the way. I have experienced a lot trouble in studying the new language. For those who speak English as the second language, English is not simple language that can be learned in couple days.

In the first year, I barely understand the conversation of people around me. Their conversations were so fast for me to catch up, yet I pretended that I understand them clearly. I laughed along the joke that I did not even find the humor of it. I had the fear which obsessed me during my first year. A fear of not belonging to the group, and being laughed at for not speaking English made me hesitated to speak. I could not even pick up the phone because I know that on the other line someone will speak English to me. I did not do well at school either. I failed most of subjects that require reading skill such as history, government etc. This essay probably is not written without the kindness of my host mom. She helped me go through single step in the process of writing an essay, helped me see every mistake I usually make. She took me through the tough time. I could not get where I am right without.

The biggest obstacle comes from within not without. The fear of facing my weakness made English my biggest obstacle. I would never learned anything if I have not conquered my fear. Everyone has his or her own obstacle with a little effort every obstacle could be overcame.

Paco2004 · Accepted Answer

Hello Hoang

I too am a learner of English (I'm Japanese). I know your essay is to be corrected by native speakers. But if you don’t mind, please take a look of my version. It is not a correction of your essay. Please take it rather as a kind of worse alternative a mere English learner wrote. I believe some of our kind teachers will come and correct your essay.

Life seems to be full of obstacles that *** created to challenge our toughness. Success does not come without obstacles on the way. I have experienced a lot of trouble in studying the new language. For those who speak English as a second language, English is not such a simple language that can be learned in a couple of days.

In the first year, I barely understood the conversation of people around me. Their conversations were so fast for me to catch up with, yet I pretended that I understood them clearly. I laughed at jokes that I did not even find the humor of them. I felt a fear, which obsessed me during my first year. The fear is that I could not belong to the group and I might be laughed at for not speaking English, and it made me hesitant to speak. I could not even pick up the phone because I knew that on the person on the line should speak to me in English. I did not do well at school either. I failed most of subjects that required reading skills such as history, government, etc. This essay probably is not written without the kindness of my host mom. She helped me go through each single step in the process of writing an essay, helped me see every mistake I usually make. She took me through the tough time. I am sure I could not get where I am right now without her help.

The biggest obstacle comes from inside, not from outside. The fear to face my weakness made English my biggest obstacle. I would have never learned anything if I had not conquered that fear. Everyone has his or her own obstacles, but I believe every obstacle could be overcome with a little effort.

paco

Anonymous · Answer

hello hoang,

i don't feel at ease correcting people, but lets say that I'm presenting a new alternative.

when you said"I too am a learner..."_it didn't sound familiar_may be "I am too a learner...".

Life seems to be full of obstacles that *** created to challenge our toughness. Success does not come without obstacles on the way. I have experienced a lot of trouble in studying the new language. For those who speak English as a second language, English is not such a simple language that can be learned in a couple of days.

In my first year, I barely understood the conversations around me. They were tolking so fast, that I couldn't catch up with them. Yet I pretended that I understood them clearly. I laughed at jokes that I did not even find the humor in them. I was afraid. The fear of not being able to fit in, and that I might be laughed at, for not speaking English, which made me hesitant. I could not even pick up the phone because I knew i need English to communicate with other people. I failed school. I failed most of the subjects that required reading skills such as history, government...etc. This essay probably is not written without the kind help of my host mom. She helped me go through each single step in the process of writing an essay, helped me see every mistake I usually make. She leld my hand through the rough times. I am sure I could not get where I am right now without her constant support.

The biggest obstacle came from the inside. The fear of facing my weakness. I would have never learned anything if I had not conquered it. Everyone has his or her own obstructions a long the way, but I believe every one of us could overcome them with hard work.

Can someone check my grammar ( especially fragment and commasplice )

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