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Anonymous Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Can someone briefly look this over

I'm supposed to turn in this informative essay in an hour or so and I feel like something is wrong with the intro. Can anyone give me some pointers or better ways to say it? Also any other general mistakes you notice would be great.

These days most people are having financial trouble. A lot of families are struggling. What many parents don’t know is that there are many government funded programs out their to help. Head start is a great program for low income families because of the resources and activities it provides to promote childhood development, parent education, and health.

Head Start is a federally funded preschool and nursery program for low income children, foster children, or children with disabilities. It is operated by local non profit organizations. There is one in almost every county in the united states, even at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. You can find your local head start and apply by visiting their website <www.eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/hslc/HeadStartOffices> or by calling their toll free number 1-866-763-6481.

Head Start offers many services to help your child. The program has very strict guidelines for it’s teachers and an amazing preschool curriculum. Your child will be learning the basics of science, critical thinking, math, and reading. They will also be learning to accept children from different backgrounds in the diverse class settings. Socialization, sharing, caring for and accepting others are all part of Head Start. The program offers students a nutritional lunch every day as well as nutritional snacks throughout the day. The older students are taught to sit at a family style meal and pass the dishes of food around the table. The students are given plenty of time to play inside and outside in safe enclosed areas. They will practice their social skills and imagination as well as develop fine motor skills in the activities the instructors present them with.

Head Start is also a great place for parents. Free medical and dental care is offered to all students relieving a lot of the financial stress of properly caring for your child. Head start will also assist parents in need to learn english, learn to read, complete their GED, or seek further education towards a career. They offer classes you can go through with your child on subjects like health and nutrition. They also offer counseling classes to help families dealing with anything from drug abuse to a death in the family to losing a job. Head Start wants parents to be involved, they plan many family activities through out the year for you and your child to participate in. Family meals, awards ceremonies, and pictures with santa are just a few examples of the many ways Head Start helps you to connect with your child.

I never thought i would send my child to a preschool program, I didn’t think they did anything necessary or helpful that I couldn’t accomplish at home. Researching and visiting the Head Start program opened my eyes to just how far it has come and how much it has to offer for the whole family.
  

Top answer

"These days most people are having financial trouble. " You could replace this with something like, " In the struggling economy, many families are experiencing financial hardships. " and you might consider adding something like, " This can be very discouraging when it comes to finding the resources and education necessary for parents to provide their children with the best early childhood learning and development opportunities.

  • "These days most people are having financial trouble.
  • " You could replace this with something like, " In the struggling economy, many families are experiencing financial hardships.
  • " and you might consider adding something like, " This can be very discouraging when it comes to finding the resources and education necessary for parents to provide their children with the best early childhood learning and development opportunities.
  • " This way you kind of set your reader up for what kind of assistance you are going to discuss.
  • Other than that, I have the following suggestions/corrections to offer: Head Start is a federally funded preschool and nursery program for low income children, foster children, or children with disabilities.
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2 Answers
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"These days most people are having financial trouble. A lot of families are struggling."

You could replace this with something like, "In the struggling economy, many families are experiencing financial hardships." and you might consider adding something like, "This can be very discouraging when it comes to finding the resources and education necessary for parents to provide the
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thank you so much, punctuation is my biggest problem. This was a great help. You managed to catch the small things I didn't notice..

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