Can somebody give me some feebacks of my essay please

topic: People’s lives are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

We are now living in a society bombarded by the appearance of advertisements and many people consider this may cause detrimental effects on our lives. While I do agree that advertising can have negative impacts on some aspects, they also play a significant role in enhancing our living standards.
In the one hand, advertisements can deceived us into purchasing things that aren't really essential to catch up with the latest trend. For example, people queue up in front of Apple chain stores to buy new iPhone released every year although their current smartphones still function smoothly , leading to people wasting their own money on unimportant things to satisfy their own demands without seriously taking their needs into considerations. Furthermore, advertisements can also cause distractions and irritations. some adverts are shown and posted continuous ly on the TV and social media making people feel irritated and annoyed and even fear whenever adverts pop up.
In the other hand, advertisements also contribute significantly to the well-being of the society and human-beings. Firstly, by the emergence of advertisements, customers are always kept informed about ranges of products therefore provides customers more choices thus increases overall their living standards. Moreover, advertisements create more job opportunities for the unemployed. To make adverts widespread, companies have to construct advertising agencies therefore employ more workers. For instance, in nations which have dense population such as Vietnam, constructing and running advertising agencies has create employment for thousands of people and solve the thorny issue of unemployment.
In conclusion, even though the appearance of adverts can bring about negative effects in some aspects, I believe that the development of advertisements can increase the average living standards of humans.