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Anonymous Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
can some read my eesay to see if it good enough
My Favorite Childhood Room
Everyone has a favorite place he or she likes to go hide in or just to be comfortable. The room that I enjoyed when I was a child was the living room at grandmother’s house. This room was never empty nor was the room quite, it always so full of life. People would come in and out all day long just to hear grandmother’s stories and have coffee. I loved to go over because it was never boring with grandmother. The room was a delightful, yet energetic place to be when I needed love and support.
This room was so full of knowledge on a daily basis. Grandmother told stories about when she had to stay on camp boat for hurricane Betsy and almost died trying to protect her children. She always said that the storm was very unpredictable, and the water had risen so fast that the boat almost capsized. My grandmother said she kept a strong mind due to the safety of children. Listening to her stories, I could see the pictures of them through her eyes. She also took the time to teach us Cajun French through her stories. The language she said was necessary for us to turn due to the fact she could not speak English. I think what I enjoyed the most about this room was the atmosphere. The room was always full of love, hope, and faith, because she never let us give up on anything. My grandmother is the backbone for the entire family.
I can remember when the room was full of laughter, hugs, and tears. The laughter came when we would play games that she would make up for us. These games consisted of scavenger hunt throughout the room, hide, and go seek. I would laugh so hard watching her try to hide in places she knew she could not fit. Then when we would find her, she was all excited she would start hugging us. I always got hugs from grandmother even when I did something wrong. She was the type of person to praise me for every little thing I did no matter what it was, but when I disrespected anyone, I was punished for it. Her punishment was to get in the corner and think about what I had done to get there. Then we had to write scripter’s out of the bible, but she did this to make me understand what I had done.
This room was my home away from home. I was always sleeping at her house, because she made it so fun to there. She would let me pretend that I was on a camping trip and set a sleeping bag on the floor, and make a tent out of a bed sheet. When I would get up in the morning, she would take time to sit and brush my hair so I could be pretty. She would say there is no place for matted hair in this world. Then when I asked why she would say that is why they invented a brush so no one would walk with knotted hair.
My grandmother’s living room was a safe haven for everybody who wanted to be there with her. She always made sure everyone was happy and full of life. This room was alive and energetic so no one had time to be depressed. I still go there when I had a bad day just to listen to her stories. Now she is ninety-seven years old, but she still has her right mind and she can still fun with me. That is because her room never sleeps nor will it stop living. Grandmother has a lot to live for with ninety- three grand kids still going to her house for love, and support.
Everyone has a favorite place he or she likes to go hide in or just to be comfortable. The room that I enjoyed when I was a child was the living room at grandmother’s house. This room was never empty nor was the room quite, it always so full of life. People would come in and out all day long just to hear grandmother’s stories and have coffee. I loved to go over because it was never boring with grandmother. The room was a delightful, yet energetic place to be when I needed love and support.
This room was so full of knowledge on a daily basis. Grandmother told stories about when she had to stay on camp boat for hurricane Betsy and almost died trying to protect her children. She always said that the storm was very unpredictable, and the water had risen so fast that the boat almost capsized. My grandmother said she kept a strong mind due to the safety of children. Listening to her stories, I could see the pictures of them through her eyes. She also took the time to teach us Cajun French through her stories. The language she said was necessary for us to turn due to the fact she could not speak English. I think what I enjoyed the most about this room was the atmosphere. The room was always full of love, hope, and faith, because she never let us give up on anything. My grandmother is the backbone for the entire family.
I can remember when the room was full of laughter, hugs, and tears. The laughter came when we would play games that she would make up for us. These games consisted of scavenger hunt throughout the room, hide, and go seek. I would laugh so hard watching her try to hide in places she knew she could not fit. Then when we would find her, she was all excited she would start hugging us. I always got hugs from grandmother even when I did something wrong. She was the type of person to praise me for every little thing I did no matter what it was, but when I disrespected anyone, I was punished for it. Her punishment was to get in the corner and think about what I had done to get there. Then we had to write scripter’s out of the bible, but she did this to make me understand what I had done.
This room was my home away from home. I was always sleeping at her house, because she made it so fun to there. She would let me pretend that I was on a camping trip and set a sleeping bag on the floor, and make a tent out of a bed sheet. When I would get up in the morning, she would take time to sit and brush my hair so I could be pretty. She would say there is no place for matted hair in this world. Then when I asked why she would say that is why they invented a brush so no one would walk with knotted hair.
My grandmother’s living room was a safe haven for everybody who wanted to be there with her. She always made sure everyone was happy and full of life. This room was alive and energetic so no one had time to be depressed. I still go there when I had a bad day just to listen to her stories. Now she is ninety-seven years old, but she still has her right mind and she can still fun with me. That is because her room never sleeps nor will it stop living. Grandmother has a lot to live for with ninety- three grand kids still going to her house for love, and support.
Top answer
Hi, Well, this looks to be a personal, reflective piece and I have to say you've done quite well with it. It could benefit from some further changes, though, in my opinion. - I honestly think your introduction could be tied back to just the first two sentences.
- Hi, Well, this looks to be a personal, reflective piece and I have to say you've done quite well with it.
- It could benefit from some further changes, though, in my opinion.
- - I honestly think your introduction could be tied back to just the first two sentences.
- Then you could give an overview of the aspects of this room you are going to talk about in your body (but see below for problems with the body part).
- - On an initial glance you seem to have organized your writing into good body paragraphs, but a second look makes it feel like your paragraphs have been allocated according to "breaks" in the volume of writing rather than pursuing any central main idea for each one.
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1 Answers
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Hi,
Well, this looks to be a personal, reflective piece and I have to say you've done quite well with it.
It could benefit from some further changes, though, in my opinion.
- I honestly think your introduction could be tied back to just the first two sentences. Then you could give an overview of the aspects of this room you are going to talk about in your body (but see b
Well, this looks to be a personal, reflective piece and I have to say you've done quite well with it.
It could benefit from some further changes, though, in my opinion.
- I honestly think your introduction could be tied back to just the first two sentences. Then you could give an overview of the aspects of this room you are going to talk about in your body (but see b
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