Can some experts help me check about this essay, please?

1b01i00Dear experts,02br
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00 Now I am trying to prepare AWA of the GRE test and I wrote the compostition below. Can some experts help me check about this essay, please ?02br
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00“All students should be required to take courses in the sciences, even if they have no interest in science.”02i02b02br
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00I wonder if it’s necessary that all students should be required to take courses in the sciences whether they have interests in it or not. In a sense, I agree insofar as the benefits of science courses can open the mind of other academic students who study in art, history, or other literature areas. But, it’s important that both the good and bad implications of technological advances should be discussed broadly first so that all students can really benefit from this policy.02br
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00The author think that it’s would be like a blessing in disguise if all students took some courses in the sciences. But I think this technical trend is a curse as much as a blessing. I believe we have put so much emphasis on the scientific areas so as to push the science into a dominant force in our society. The intellectual prestige of artists decline, and thus art courses become the unpopular part in colleges. In Asia, now extracting wealth from the high-tech company looks so easy that the real talents of art are unwilling to learn the un-benefited art anymore, even if it’s just a little part of a whole semester. So I am wondering if we still continue to preach the advantages of sciences and to diminish the other scientific courses. What we should worry about is how many artists will be left and how many masterpieces will be created in the future.02br
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00However, apart from this, it’s hard to think of the reason why students should not take some courses in sciences. Not all the science courses are so unfamiliar for the students in arts. Students who major in art or literature will benefit greatly from developing the skill and comfort with technology, such as Internet-savvy and keyboard-confident. Moreover, the double play of art and technology will help the students create his with dynamic and innovative thought and develop his ability to be a virtuoso. Most important of all, sustaining stimulation to the brain in a flavor of technology boosts their intellectual growth as well. 02br
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00Students should be taught by school’s educators who are able to cajole the students’ insatiable curiosity and with the knowledge from the scientific and artic background. But, excessive and insufficient amount of the courses should be clarified on account of the whole educators, rather than just technologist, taking the responsibility to guild our courses.02br
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01b01i00And thanks for your patient to read the whole article.02i02b0-