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Seraphin Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

can i make it more concise - in writing, not in speaking

0 I would like to express the following thought, but can't find a more concise way to do it. Please help.02br
00"I wonder if you can take a quick look at it and if you should find any problems in it, please feel free to correct them"02br
00 I am bothered by the double use of "if" (should I? in terms of sounding more "native") and would appreciate it 02br
00if someone can help make it more "English" and less redundant.02br
02br
00Thanks  0-
  

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4 Answers
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0I'd be very grateful if you could take a quick look and also let me know how to correct any problems you may find.02br
02br
00The "double if" is okay, but use "could" instead of "can."02br
02br
00I wouldn't use "feel free" - that sounds vaguely like you're doing them a favor by allowing them to correct them, instead of appreciating the fact that they are.
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0 01blockquote
01cite10Seraphin12cite10a more concise way to do it12blockquote
10 But the more concise you make it, the less polite it may seem!02br
00Probably about the most concise, without appearing too impolite, would be:02br
01i00Please correct these. 02i02br
00CJ 0-
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0 I wonder if you could take a quick look at it and should you find any problems, please feel free to correct 02br
00them0-
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1i00Kindly/Please correct the following (if necessary):02i02br
00seems quite OK to me. 0-
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