Can I get your comments on my writing?

To be honest, I'm not good at writing and get stuck in how to write professionally and smoothily, so I'm looking forward to have you advices. I'm so thankful for this.

Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influences play a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In modern times, there appears to aa widepsread concern for upbringing ways. Some people believe that though the responsible of child-raising falls upon parents, surroundings are the main element of children’s developing process. For my perspective, I strongly disagree with this idea.

Undoubtedly, outside influences play decisively in enhancing the knowledge and awareness of children. From a very young age, children are encouraged to explore the most externally accessible elements, such as neighborhood or coevals. Schooling is the most essential for raising the youngsters: it keeps them under the wise guidance and maintains levels of morality. Besides, it’s evident to say that friends are the most noticable element that impact on our lives: our health choices are constantly influenced by our friends, both consciously or unconsciously. The major part of human identity draw from friendship. Vicarious dissonance can form the way we think dramatically.

Besides, the outside forces are profoundly affecting the traning given at home. Bullying, which occurs in any educational setting, is detrimental to students’ wellbeing. In addition, social media possesses risks include appropriate content, cyberbullying or data breaches. Children are easily being exposed to upsetting content like agressive or sexual comments and images, or stalked by strangers. A research notes that nearly half of adolescent psychiatric patients had been victims of cyberbullying. For instance, in Texas, abusive text messages lead a 18-year-old girl to shoot herself.

However, family plays an irreplaceable role to the development of children. Children who see relationship abuse will live with constant anxiety and get stuck in behavioural problems. Parents are the ones who have to be ensure that children are not drawn to the violence and corruption lurking in them. Moreover, human bonds and emotions would not reach perfection unless they have directional pratice. Parents should not underestimate the effect of their words and deeds on their children.

Just to wrap up, it is wise to use the opinion of Edmondo de Amicis, who wrote the classic “Heart”: the success in a child’s developing process are combined by three sectors: family, school and the society.