Can correct my writting (ielts task 2) about content or grammar?

Children should always follow their parents parents advice.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

I believe the family is one of most important enviroment so children's obedience to their parents' advice is very ordinary. but "children should always follow their parents' commandent " is just appropriate in some situation and depend on each stage of majority.There are some outstanding reasons that children should obey their parent's counsel.First of all, parents are more mature than children, because they are older, they have more experience in life.Children sometimes do not know what is the right and wrong or what is better for them while the older generations are better at this.Children do not know some basically dangerous things as well which the can not anticipate. For example, a young child does not know that they should stay away from electrical euipment.In addition, obeying parents does not only mean doing what they tell, it is also honouring older generations,it is one way to show their respect and their love cuz they are people who gave birth and brought children up little by littleOn the other hand,there are some reasons that children should not always follow their parents' advice. The most noticeable reason is that parents' advice is not always proper and reasonable because parents' generation is different with children so both thoughtfulness are not alike. Despite their maturity, sometimes they might not update current tendency, therefore, they have some wrong opinions about their children's demands. Besides,there are some problems arising from always follow parents' advice. children will have the habit of relying on their parents and become a Wishy-washy liberal. children can't make up their mind on their own. To illustrate, my elder sister is supposed to be a good girl because she always follow parents' advice at anytime. Then, she can't decide everything for her life by herself that always take parents' advice until she is 26 years old without job. The last opinion should be mentioned is off-springs' independence which means that they can do anything they want as long as it is legal. When a child can take up a hobby, a university or a job by himself, this means that he is more mature, and he has responsibility for his whole life. when their children have their own decision, it illustrates that they are more mature and thoughtful.