Can anyone proofread what I have so far for my college essay?

I'm not done yet, I need to add a closing paragraph but I just want to know how it is so far.

"Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you."

As stated by John Kenneth Galbraith, “There is certainly no absolute standard of beauty. That precisely is what makes its pursuit so interesting.” This assertion implies that the idea of beauty is subjective to the perceiver. However, this statement is becoming difficult to believe in today‘s society. Societal standards of beauty are distributed through media, affecting its viewers which include individuals ranging from young girls to adult men.
Young people are by far the most impressionable of the population. They listen to music, watch television shows and movies, and read magazines that portray Hollywood’s idea of a beautiful person. Whether it means perfect hair or a thin figure, a large number of teenage girls and boys strive to obtain this image. The warped perception of a beautiful person does not stop in the media, it is also brought into school. Teasing and bullying from other students can lead to the demise of an adolescent’s self esteem, causing a significant decrease in confidence and social skills. I feel that a huge amount of America’s population has been brainwashed into believing that they are not attractive if they do not have the same characteristics as the heavily retouched images of celebrities on magazines, and this is a growing problem.
However, society’s brainwashing does not only affect young people. Countless adult men and women also feel the need to replicate the images depicted by the media. Whether it be the desire to attract another person or simply just boost self esteem, men and women begin dieting, exercising excessively, and spending a huge amount of money on cosmetics and hair products. Regular people are exposed to this behavior everyday by the fashion industry; especially high fashion models on the runway. Numerous models are encouraged to lose weight to appear drastically thin, which in many cases leads to eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. It has been reported that the average woman model maintains a weight at about 20 percent below the healthy weight for her height and age. Eating disorders are also common among male models who receive the same pressure to be thin. Plus size modeling agencies are common, but receive much criticism due to being “against the norm”; this is the problem in society. Extremely thin figures should not be the norm, and healthy figures should be promoted instead.
Lastly, society’s beauty standards are affecting the way an immeasurable number of individuals display themselves. Copious amounts of women believe that one must wear tight or revealing clothing to receive attention from a man. Layering on make-up is usually considered more acceptable than wearing none; looking like a completely different person is generally more appropriate than resembling one’s natural image. Girls start wearing make-up at a young age, and boys become accustomed to these images they see of women. I witness this behavior everyday, with males making cruel remarks to girls because of the way they look and females who are embarrassed to go out in public bearing no make-up. The definition of beauty as represented by society often weighs down on an individual, no matter how high his or her confidence may be.