Can anyone kindly help me review my motivation letter for a master's program in International Business Development

Dear ******,
I am writing regarding my application for the master's degree programme in "International Business & Development" at University of ******. A degree from one of the most prestigious and respected universities is my chance to enrich my knowledge and professionally outgrow.I am very committed to a career in International Business Development, and have been to several career presentations, whilst also speaking to recruiters to research this area in-depth. Therefore, undertaking a Master’s degree in International Business and Development would be an essential first step towards my career ambition. I currently possess what I believe to be a strong theoretical basic understanding of the rudiments of Business Development from the international perspective, lacking practical application of these concepts. I am therefore interested in this course because it encapsulates an advanced insight into novel International Business and Development practices pertaining to organisational and practical contexts. This programme will concurrently help in developing an understanding of international Business and general management tools, making the course a diverse and challenging proposition.My short-term goal is to secure a job as a Management Analyst at a reputable international firm or an International trading Consultant at one of the big investment firms in *****. My long-term goal is to attain a professional qualification such as the ACIIA, CAIA, CIFIA or CFA. Therefore the modules offered in this course such as International Finance, International Financial Institutions and Markets, Introduction to Derivatives which includes theory, practice, and critique to name a few; will be a beneficial prerequisites for my career. The course will allow me to leverage my current knowledge with these new learned skills to aid me in successfully attaining my desired qualification and career objectives.

My interest in International Business and Development stems from a combination of academia and work experience. I originally studied Economics and Entrepreneurship Development at college where I thoroughly enjoyed preparing financial statements, conducting financial ratios and coming up with theoretical investment decision based on scenarios in international trade courses. I have had the opportunity to put into practice much of the theory when I worked at ****** as the Head of Business Development and also assisting the Logistics and Trading subsidiary of the Group in trading commodities and also offering trade advisory services to its client of international repute.

This insight identified the significant role business development plays in the daily operations of a business and propelled my desire to pursue a career in International Business and Development on a corporate scale.My degree and post graduate certificate course incorporated many statistical, quantitative, business and financial modules that have helped me grasp a basic solid foundation and understanding of business development and financial conventions, which will aid me in successfully completing this course.I look to gain from this course an understanding of the practical applications of these conventions that I could successfully utilise in a work situation.I encounter international business and trading coupled with finance in my everyday career, I am a keen global markets enthusiast and I keep abreast of the latest developments taking place by regularly reading the World Finance magazine and the Financial Times. I regularly buy and sell shares on my portfolio via the **** Stock Exchange and the *** Alternative Exchange (***), which coupled with my interest in global markets, has instilled a penchant for investments. My other hobbies include playing basketball and reading fictional books.Ultimately, I will bring a desire to succeed where I will regularly contribute within lectures, group discussions and social activities. I feel I can share my passion, knowledge and experiences in business development with my peers and helping them with any issues whilst simultaneously learning from them. Furthermore, I see this as vital platform to achieving my future goals.
Thank you very much for considering my application.Sincerely,