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Sebayanpendam Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

Can anyone improve these paragraphs, please?

Hi,

Can you please check the grammar?


With increased influx of tourists into Sarawak, we not only see the solitary backpacker or senior citizen holidaying here but also family, younger touring groups, and even students on school trips.

Combine increased travel and itinerary awareness via the internet and tourists would expect more than the sleek cultural show before retiring their five star hotel.
Thank you
  

Top answer

Hi, Can you please check the grammar? With increased influx of tourists to Sarawak, we not only see the solitary backpacker or senior citizen holidaying here, but also families, younger touring groups, and even students on school trips. If combine increased travel and itinerary awareness via the internet , tourists would expect more than a sleek cultural show before retiring to their five-star hotels.

— Clive

  • Hi, Can you please check the grammar?
  • With increased influx of tourists to Sarawak, we not only see the solitary backpacker or senior citizen holidaying here, but also families, younger touring groups, and even students on school trips.
  • If combine increased travel and itinerary awareness via the internet , tourists would expect more than a sleek cultural show before retiring to their five-star hotels.
  • The meaning of the underlined part is not clear at all.
  • You need to say in another way.
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4 Answers
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Hi,

Can you please check the grammar?

With increased influx of tourists to Sarawak, we not only see the solitary backpacker or senior citizen holidaying here, but also families, younger touring groups, and even students on school trips.

If combine increased travel and itinerary awareness via the internet, tourists would expect more than a sleek cultu
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Hi again,

Why we don't put down 'the increased influx of....'? I thought it was more like THE+OF structure.

Can we write Having combined increased travel and itinerary awareness via the internet, tourists would expect more........?

Thanks.
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Hi,

Why we don't put down 'the increased influx of..'? I thought it was more like THE+OF structure. You could certainly say 'the' to make the reference more specific.

Can we write Having combined increased travel and itinerary awareness via the internet, tourists would expect more..?
Yes, you can. But why not use a more dynamic, active and simpler form of grammar? eg
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Thanks.

I extracted these paragraphs from a local English newspaper in my state.
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