Can anyone help me with my IELTS writing?

Question

This table demonstrates the average distance in miles commuted per person in 1985 and 2000.

It can be clearly seen that cars were the most prevalent mode of transport with the highest number of miles travelled, surpassing local buses and others by 8 times in both years .

Turning to details, the distance drived by car users rose dramatically from 3199 to 4806, occupying approximately 70% of all modes in 2000. By contrast, taxis stood at the bottom of the list with only 13 miles each person in 1985, and then negligibly grew to 42 miles in the next 15 years.

Both bicycles and walking witnessed a downward trend when the former’s distance fell moderately from 51 to 41 miles and the latter decreased from 255 to 237 miles. As opposed to going jogging and riding bikes, the distance individuals using long distance buses, which was only responsible for 54 miles, began to see an exponential growth to 124 miles in 2000, outnumbering taxis by 3 times.

Strikingly, the number of miles travelled by bicycles and taxis were almost equal to each other in 2000.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please attach an image of what you are writing about. We cannot help you if we can't see the figure.

Please put the essay instructions with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Put the essay instructions here. Attach the image here.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
---------------------

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays:

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

You have misused many vocabulary words. Read my advice.

Phuong Linh Bùi demonstrates

Wrong word. A table contains a list values in rows and columns. It does not make a demonstration or presentation.

Phuong Linh BùiIt can be clearly seen that

Delete. Avoid these dummy-it clauses that are devoid of meaningful content.

Phuong Linh BùiBoth bicycles and walking witnessed

Bicycles cannot have experiences. They have no feelings or senses.

Read my advice.

Phương Linh Bùi · Answer

Here is the table. I'm so sorry.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Sample essay

Outline:

Paragraph 1: describe the table and the row and column headers. Group the rows into types of transport.

Paragraph 2: Pick out the main features. There are three: 1) total distance increased.2) three modes decreased 3) most travel was by car.

Paragraph 3: Make comparisons. Combine categories. Compare total miles in these categories.

The table lists the average distances travelled per person yearly for seven named means of transportation in 1985 and 2000. Besides that, it gives the total distance and a category for all other modes. The categories include three for public transportation (train and local and long distance bus), three for personal means (walking, biking and driving), and taxis.

Overall, the total distance increased even though there were decreases in three of the categories, walking, biking and local bus. The largest proportion of travel was by car.

In detail, two-thirds of the total distance in 1985 (3199 out of 4740 miles) was by car, and it went up to nearly three-quarters in 2000 (4806 out of 6475). People rode public transportation about the same distances, 764 miles in 2000 compared to 722 in 1985; however the miles traveled by train and long distance bus both increased at the expense of local busses, which declined from 429 to 274 miles. Walking and biking added up to 306 miles in 1985, compared to 278 in 2000. Other means accounted for just under 10% of the total in both years.

Can anyone help me with my IELTS writing?

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions