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Hoa Ha Posted 8 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Can anyone help me to assess this description. Plz. Thanks in advance

The bar chart gives information about the accident reductions per kilometer in Bridgewater following the introduction of extra lanes on busy roads. There are five main motorways mentioned. As we can see from the bar chart, accident reduced in all these roads after extra lanes were introduced.

M2 and M5 were the roads with the largest amount of traffic accident before extra lanes were introduced. However, after having extra lanes, as seen in the bar chart, M5 became to one of the roads which reduced accidents most, with than 50 percent accident( from 17 down 7 cases).

M1 and M4 also have significant accident reductions per kilometer with 61 percent (13 down 5) and 71 percent (7 down 2) respectively. Quite the contrary, the accident of M2 reduced only 2 cases which is 11 in percent.

  

Top answer

You repeat phrases too much. The bar chart gives information about the reduction in accidents reductions per kilometer in Bridgewater following the introduction of extra lanes on busy roads. There are five main motorways mentioned .

  • You repeat phrases too much.
  • The bar chart gives information about the reduction in accidents reductions per kilometer in Bridgewater following the introduction of extra lanes on busy roads.
  • There are five main motorways mentioned .
  • As we can see from the bar chart, accident (wrong form) reduced (wrong form) in (wrong word) all these roads after extra lanes were introduced.
  • M2 and M5 were the roads with the largest amount (wrong word) of traffic accident (wrong form) before extra lanes were introduced.
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1 Answers
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You repeat phrases too much.


The bar chart gives information about the reduction in accidents reductions per kilometer in Bridgewater following the introduction of extra lanes on busy roads. There are five main motorways mentioned. As we can see from the bar chart,

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