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Anonymous Posted 18 years ago
Letter Writing
can anyone check my motivation letter?
hi there,I'm gonna apply for an erasmus project,here's my motivation letter after reading some examplI would appreciate any help.
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is X, I graduated with a degree in software engineering from Y university .
I am writing to apply for the Erasmus Scholarship for European Master on Software Engineering program, which is one of the Erasmus master programs,that will be conducted at Z university for the first year and the W university for the second year starting at fall semester of academic year 2009.
Please allow me to briefly introduce myself. I was born in a family with a strong belief in the importance of education. Being highly motivated by my parents , I have always striven to be the best student not only to satisfy my parents but also myself.I have always enjoyed trying new conditions,new people,new opportunities and whatever keeps me challenged.
During studing in university,In addition to my academic activities, I also gave time to my community.even now I take part in many social activities. Therefore, I can adapt to new situations and make friends easily. I am also comfortable with individual work as well as working in a group.
After graduating from university.I felt that I have been drowned in theory, thus I preferred to find a job that I could experience what I had learnt in real world.It is more than 16 months I am working in a software production company. Through these months I have experienced developing in vs.Net environment by C#.Net language .working on Remoting ,WindowsServices ,Multi Threading and Xml,I have also experienced Analysing,XP programming and Testing and I have learned a lot about team working,project management and human resource management(I'm still learning every day).It has been a fantastic experience until now.During these months I have realized that the more academic knowledge someone have the better and more qualified output will get so I decided to study my master degree .
On the other hand I have a great intrest in research fields specially the fields that combine software engineering and management.I wish to develop my knowledge and skills in this area inorder to contribute in improving software engineering and management connection.
One of the most important reasons I have chosen this program is its courses that meet my desire, including software architecture and quality,software process management,software quality management, relationships and communication in working groups , and the most intresting one : Research Methodologies in Software Engineering and Computer Science .
This scholarship will provide me an opportunity of experiencing an international education which has always been my dream since I was 11(by the time I started learning english).Studing in two different European countries allows me to become familiar with software engineering ,both in business and academy,of Europe.studing beside students with different cultures and nationalities would be a great laboratory to enhance my team working ability which is one of the most important abilities to become a professional software engineer .
I have chosen Z university because of Spain's great culture and warm people that makes communication easier and gives me the sense of being at home.and would be a fine chance to learn Spanish which is the second common language in the world.
I have visited W university website carefully,and have realized that the university has a particular attention to software and IT ,so studing in such a university in Software engineering could be a great academic experience .furthermore experience living in Sweden which is recognized as women country is a perfect choice for me who has lived in a country with poor condition,both socially and legally,for women.
I believe this scholarship will open my path to do research in software engineering different up- to- date methodologies and work on more applied ones in business.I plan to continue studing and find a good university for PHD degree if I can get this opportunity. I sincerely hope that my qualifications and educational experiences will meet your high requirements.
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any further details or documents.
I thank you for your consideration, and I am looking forward to your reply.
Yours faithfully,
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is X, I graduated with a degree in software engineering from Y university .
I am writing to apply for the Erasmus Scholarship for European Master on Software Engineering program, which is one of the Erasmus master programs,that will be conducted at Z university for the first year and the W university for the second year starting at fall semester of academic year 2009.
Please allow me to briefly introduce myself. I was born in a family with a strong belief in the importance of education. Being highly motivated by my parents , I have always striven to be the best student not only to satisfy my parents but also myself.I have always enjoyed trying new conditions,new people,new opportunities and whatever keeps me challenged.
During studing in university,In addition to my academic activities, I also gave time to my community.even now I take part in many social activities. Therefore, I can adapt to new situations and make friends easily. I am also comfortable with individual work as well as working in a group.
After graduating from university.I felt that I have been drowned in theory, thus I preferred to find a job that I could experience what I had learnt in real world.It is more than 16 months I am working in a software production company. Through these months I have experienced developing in vs.Net environment by C#.Net language .working on Remoting ,WindowsServices ,Multi Threading and Xml,I have also experienced Analysing,XP programming and Testing and I have learned a lot about team working,project management and human resource management(I'm still learning every day).It has been a fantastic experience until now.During these months I have realized that the more academic knowledge someone have the better and more qualified output will get so I decided to study my master degree .
On the other hand I have a great intrest in research fields specially the fields that combine software engineering and management.I wish to develop my knowledge and skills in this area inorder to contribute in improving software engineering and management connection.
One of the most important reasons I have chosen this program is its courses that meet my desire, including software architecture and quality,software process management,software quality management, relationships and communication in working groups , and the most intresting one : Research Methodologies in Software Engineering and Computer Science .
This scholarship will provide me an opportunity of experiencing an international education which has always been my dream since I was 11(by the time I started learning english).Studing in two different European countries allows me to become familiar with software engineering ,both in business and academy,of Europe.studing beside students with different cultures and nationalities would be a great laboratory to enhance my team working ability which is one of the most important abilities to become a professional software engineer .
I have chosen Z university because of Spain's great culture and warm people that makes communication easier and gives me the sense of being at home.and would be a fine chance to learn Spanish which is the second common language in the world.
I have visited W university website carefully,and have realized that the university has a particular attention to software and IT ,so studing in such a university in Software engineering could be a great academic experience .furthermore experience living in Sweden which is recognized as women country is a perfect choice for me who has lived in a country with poor condition,both socially and legally,for women.
I believe this scholarship will open my path to do research in software engineering different up- to- date methodologies and work on more applied ones in business.I plan to continue studing and find a good university for PHD degree if I can get this opportunity. I sincerely hope that my qualifications and educational experiences will meet your high requirements.
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any further details or documents.
I thank you for your consideration, and I am looking forward to your reply.
Yours faithfully,
Top answer
I started to rewrite your letter as it needs so much work on it. Unfortunately I managed to lose what I had written and as I have little time left now, all I can suggest is that you find someone with experience of writing such letters or simply someone who can write in a more fluent and grammatically correct manner. More concrete suggestions include: giving examples of the social and community related activities you have participated in; removing the reference to the motivation your parents give you (you need to show you are self motivated); remove extraneous comments (do they need to be told that Spanish "is the second common language in the world"?...
- I started to rewrite your letter as it needs so much work on it.
- Unfortunately I managed to lose what I had written and as I have little time left now, all I can suggest is that you find someone with experience of writing such letters or simply someone who can write in a more fluent and grammatically correct manner.
- More concrete suggestions include: giving examples of the social and community related activities you have participated in; removing the reference to the motivation your parents give you (you need to show you are self motivated); remove extraneous comments (do they need to be told that Spanish "is the second common language in the world"?...
- ) I'm sorry to be so negative, but this letter is very poor.
- It would be a great investment in your own future to pay for professional help if necessary in writing this letter.
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3 Answers
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I started to rewrite your letter as it needs so much work on it. Unfortunately I managed to lose what I had written and as I have little time left now, all I can suggest is that you find someone with experience of writing such letters or simply someone who can write in a more fluent and grammatically correct manner.
More concrete suggestions include: giving examples of the social and comm
More concrete suggestions include: giving examples of the social and comm
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thanks Richard,I'm gonna work on it more and post it here.meanwhile I would be glad if someone could rewrite it or give me more advice
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I've rewrite it , would you check it please
Dear Sir or Madam:
My name is ..., I am writing to apply for the Erasmus Scholarship for European Master on Software Engineering program, which is one of the Erasmus master programs and will be conducted at Z university for the first year and the W university for the second year starting at fall semester of academic year 2009.
I gr
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