Can anybody check this letter.

Question

(Please check the letter of request below and your suggestion will be highly appreciated.)

Marinian Polytechnic Colleges Foundation

Hotel and Restaurant Management Department

Rawis, Legazpi City

July 13, 2011

Norma Villanueva

BSC, MAPA

College Registrar, Asst. HRD

GEC Faculty

Thru: Ms.Rhona B. Yap

Clerk,Registrar Office

Madam:

In connection with our Thesis which is Entitled English Proficiency Among BSHRM Students in MPCF-Legazpi , we would initially ask for a copy of the total list of all the 4^th year student. This request will be used for the improvement of our studies. We do promise the data will be strictly confidential.

Thank you.

Respectfully yours,

Midn. John Visio

Managing Editor-Internal

Noted by:

Mrs. Diane V. Sales

Thesis Adviser

Mrs. Florivel Villacorta

OIC-BSHRM Department

JohnParis · Accepted Answer

I would be happy to help you write a standard British or American business letter, but I need additional information.

First - which format would you prefer? British or American?

Is it your intention to write a business letter requesting data from the registrar's office of a college or university?

Are you certain of the name of the institution? Is it possibly Mariners Polytechnic Colleges Foundation, Rawis, Legazpi City 4500, http://www.mariners.edu.ph ?

To whom - exactly - are you writing? Norma Villanueva or her assistant, Ms.Rhona B. Yap?

What is the recipient's postal address? If your letter is to Norma Villanueva, but, in reality it is to the attention of Rhona B. Yap you will need the full postal address.

What is the senders (your) full postal address?

What does the abbreviation "Midn." stand for?

When you write "noted by" does this mean you intend to send copies of your request to

Mrs. Diane V. Sales ,Thesis Adviser, and Mrs. Florivel Villacorta, OIC-BSHRM Department?

Do all parties involved in this communication understand the acronyms BSC, MAPA, HRD, GEC, OIC and BSHRM?

Please provide me with answers to these questions and together we can write a proper letter.

Regards,

John

Chlienchan · Answer

Mr. Paris,thank you very much!

I do apologize for some typographical errors. Yeah, you were right It's Mariners Polytechnic Colleges Foundation, Rawis, Legazpi City 4500. It was also my intention to write a business letter requesting data from the registrar's office. Actually, I'm addressing to Ma'am Norma Villanueva because she's the school registrar but there is also a person designated for all the records of my course.Moreover, the postal code is not needed because I can leave it to her desk but the Standard process of all the request should be in a Black and White form.They don't accept verbal communication.Since I belong to a Maritime School it is obliged to put Midn. which stands for Midshipman.Furthermore, I put all the names under noted the registrar in our school won't accept our letter without the signatures of the thesis adviser and the department head of the BSHRM .It would be much better to use the American English format. Once again I thank you for entertaining my question.

Best regards,

Chlienchan

JohnParis · Answer

OK - we'll use the American format.

Please go through my original post and answer each of the questions I asked. We will need this information to build the foundation of the letter.

Chlienchan · Answer

First - which format would you prefer? British or American?

* I prefer American

Is it your intention to write a business letter requesting data from the registrar's office of a college or university?

* Sir, yes it's my intention to write a business letter requesting data from the registrar's office

To whom - exactly - are you writing? Norma Villanueva or her assistant, Ms.Rhona B. Yap?

*To Mrs. Norma Villanueva but we students put the word " thru" because Ma'am Rhona is assigned for all the records of my course.

What is the recipient's postal address? If your letter is to Norma Villanueva, but, in reality it is to the attention of Rhona B. Yap you will need the full postal address.

*Sir, the postal address is not needed beacuse I will just go the the registrar office and give the letter directly. The registrar wants all the request in written form.

When you write "noted by" does this mean you intend to send copies of your request to

Mrs. Diane V. Sales ,Thesis Adviser, and Mrs. Florivel Villacorta, OIC-BSHRM Department?

* Sir, No Sir, The copies of my request will be strictly confidential. It's only between me and my adviser and only for thesis purposes. I just put the name of the department head because the registrar will only accept the letter if there are signatures of the department head and the adviser.

Do all parties involved in this communication understand the acronyms BSC, MAPA, HRD, GEC, OIC and BSHRM?

*Yes, They do understand.

( once again I would like to thank you for helping me. )

JohnParis · Answer

OK Thank you for all of this information. I will get back to you shortly.

John

JohnParis · Answer

Mariners Polytechnic Colleges Foundation,

Hotel and Restaurant Management Department

Rawis, Legazpi City, 4500

July 13, 2011

Ms. Norma Villanueva

BSC, MAPA

College Registrar,

Assistant HRD

GEC Faculty

Attention: Ms. Rhona B. Yap

Clerk, Registrar’s Office

Dear Ms. Villanueva:

In connection with my thesis entitled “English Proficiency Among BSHRM Students in MPCF-Legazpi”, I would like to request a copy of the comprehensive list of all 4th year students currently enrolled at Mariners Polytechnic Colleges Foundation, Legazpi. All information obtained from this request is intended for my personal research use only, and will be kept in the strictest of confidence.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

____________________________ (signatures should appear above the name but not necessarily on a line)

John Visio, Midshipman

Managing Editor-Internal

Co-Signed:

___________________________

Mrs. Diane V. Sales

Thesis Adviser

____________________________

Mrs. Florivel Villacorta

OIC-BSHRM Department

Chlienchan · Answer

Thank you very much Mr. Paris!

JohnParis · Answer

You're welcome.

Please, just call me John.

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you too John Paris. I also learned a lot as I read through these transcripts between you and Chliechan, particularly with the kind of questions you posed. Very enlightening!

Very much appreciated as well is your professional diplomacy in handling her queries.

Regards

Jo Licuanan

Zariyah · Answer

What does noted by mean?

Can anybody check this letter.

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