Can a native please help me correct the sentences?

Question

Could you please help me correct these sentences please?

1 Is that why you insisted on seeing me?

2 To some extent, it's your school because you attend but it's not yours in the sense you don't run the school.

3 You influenced me in a bad way. (is this natural?)

4 It's not that serious a thing, it doesn't justify going to the ER.

5 You two make up a weird couple. You don't go well together. (how to naturally say this?)

6 Since I'm my own boss, I get to spread out all my task over the course of the week.

7 Find the invoice for 450 dollars./that's at 450 dollars. (the one that says 450 dollars)

8 The lid of the box closed on my finger.

Thank you

Cayuse · Accepted Answer

I will try to fix these, and then create a situation where they might be used.

P = Paul

M = Mary

1 Is that why you insisted on seeing me?

This is fine.

P: "I'm trying to get a quote from your company, but every other salesperson is giving me the runaround."

M: "Is that why you insisted on seeing me?"

2 To some extent, it's your school because you attend but it's not yours in the sense you don't run the school.

I'm having a harder time understanding where this is a useful sentence. When you want to point out something that is very obvious to someone, you usually do it in a less formal way.

M: "This is my school."

P: "You may go there, but you don't own the place." or "... run the place."

3 You influenced me in a bad way. (is this natural?)

This is grammatically correct, but the normal euphemism is:

"You are a bad influence." or "You are a bad influence on me."

P: "Come on Mary, have one more drink."

M: "You're a bad influence."

4 It's not that serious a thing, it doesn't justify going to the ER.

5 You two make up a weird couple. You don't go well together. (how to naturally say this?)

"You two are a weird couple."

"You two don't go well together."

These two sentences don't fit together very well. Both of them can start a sentence with a dependent clause, but neither of them is a good explanation for the other.

"You two are a weird couple, it seems like you never see each other."

"You two don't go well together, it seems like you are always fighting."

6 Since I'm my own boss, I get to spread out all my task over the course of the week.

"I'm my own boss, so i get to spread my work over the course of a week."

7 Find the invoice for 450 dollars./that's at 450 dollars. (the one that says 450 dollars)

"Find the invoice totalling $450."

M: "I have several invoices from Acme Inc. which one do you want?"

P: "Find the invoice totalling $450." (when we read this out loud its read "four hundred fifty dollars")

8 The lid of the box closed on my finger.

Here "the lid" is superfluous, everyone knows how boxes close.

"The box closed on my finger."

M: "What happened?"

P: "A box closed on my finger." (or "That box..." if he can point at it, or "This box..." if he's holding it)

alc24,

I hope you don't think I'm being critical of your writing or sentence forming. Usually your sentences are grammatically correct, they just sound odd to me because the situation where you could use one of them is extraordinary. In these situations I tend to assume that you are trying to express a slightly different meaning. If this assumption is incorrect, please feel free to ignore me.

Regards,

Cay

Alc24 · Answer

Thank you Clay

I had 2 things

Can you use "to some extent" like this and "it's not yours in the sense where/that"????

To some extent, it's your school because you attend but it's not yours in the sense you don't run the school.

As for " You two make up a weird couple. You don't go well together."

I'm trying to say physically they are ill matched or make up a weird couple, don't go together.

What do you think?

Thank you Clay

Cayuse · Answer

Alc24,

I sometimes find it difficult to answer your questions because what you are trying to say is just so unusual in itself.

"To some extent, it's your school because you attend but it's not yours in the sense you don't run the school."

This sentence has a double negative, so it doesn't make sense as written.

"To some extent it's your school because you attend it, but it's not yours in the sens that you run it."

I would break these down in to two sentences.

"To some extent its your school. You attend it, but you don't run it."

Calling a couple 'weird' just sounds very wrong to me, usually we let people decide for themselves who they want to partner with.

If you must comment on the appearance of people, I would encourage you to be as lighthearted as possible while doing so.

"You two crack me up, he's like twice your height." (said to her)

"You two crack me up, you're like twice her height." (said to him)

"Those two crack me up, she's like half his height." (said to a 3rd party)

Regards,

Cay

Can a native please help me correct the sentences?

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